French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
Well, she believed! She believed in Julien, for
Julien's sake, so much that she ended by believing in him also for her
own. . . . He blossomed under her eye as a plant in the sunlight. And it
is good to be the sun for somebody else. "Open, my heart!" Was it to
Julien's heart or her own that she was speaking? Already she had ceased
to know. For she too was blossoming as a result of the good she was
doing. An abundant nature dies if it cannot nourish others from itself.
"To give myself!"
Annette gave too much. She was irresistible. Julien no longer concealed
his passion. And Annette--a little late--recognized that she was in
danger.
When she saw love rising within her, she threw up a feeble defence; she
tried not to take Julien's feelings seriously. But she did not believe
herself, and all she did was to make Julien more importunate. He became
pathetic.
Then she was seized with fear. She besought him not to love her, to let
them remain good friends.
"Why?" he asked. "Why?"
She did not want to say. She had an instinctive fear of love; she
remembered what she had suffered through it, and an intuition warned her
of what she would have to suffer again. She summoned it and she drove it
away from her; she desired it and she fled from it. Julien's entreaties
she resisted sincerely, and in the bottom of her heart she prayed that
her adversary might conquer her; resistance.
The combat would have dragged on if a certain event had not hastened the
issue.
XIX
With her sister's husband Annette was on terms of the frankest
friendship. This good soul, for all his slight vulgarity, lacked neither
heart nor integrity. Annette respected him, and Leopold treated her with
a rather ceremonious consideration. Ever since their first meetings he
had gathered that she belonged to a different species from his and
Sylvie's; she intimidated him. He was all the more grateful for the
kindness she showed him. At the time when he was paying court to Sylvie,
she had been his ally; more than once she had come to his aid when he
was exposed to the ridicule of his fiancée, who was too sure of her
power not to abuse it. Later she had even discreetly interposed in
misunderstandings in the household, or when Sylvie yielded to sudden
whims, crotchets and deviltries, now and then, escaping from her own
vexations by vexing her husband. Leopold, who did not understand such
things, would come and tell his troubles to Annette, who undertook to
bring Sylvie back to reason. He had even gone so far as to confide to
his sister-in-law more than one matter which he had not mentioned to his
wife. Sylvie was not unaware of this, and she teased Annette, who took
it gaily. Everything was natural and frank among the three. Leopold had
never complained of the place held in his home by his wife's sister and
the little boy, though they were often rather in the way; he thought, in
fact, that Sylvie did not do enough to help Annette, whose courage he
admired; and he spoiled the child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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