"And Carol I did enjoy it. It was fun. I was simply hypnotized with
the idea of having a house and a husband and a lot of little Julias.
Dan glared at me in disgust. Then he went home, snarling about my
mushiness. But he thought it was becoming to me. He said I got
prettier every day. I would not even let him touch my hand any more.
You know Dan and I were pretty good pals for a long time, and he was
allowed little privileges like that. Now it was all off. Dan might
rave and Dan might storm, but I stood firm. He could not touch my
hands! I was consecrated to my future husband.
"'It may not be wicked, Dan, I do not say it is. But it makes me
shiver to think what would happen if my husband caught you doing it.
He might kill you on the spot.'
"'You haven't got a husband,' Dan would snap.
"'The principle is just the same.' Then I would dimple up at him. I
am not the dimply type of girl, I know, but there are times when one
has simply got to dimple at a man, and by wrinkling my face properly I
can give the dimple effect. I have practised it weary hours before the
mirror. I have often prayed for a dimpled skin like yours, Carol, but
I guess the Lord could not figure out how to manage it since my skin
was practically finished before I began to pray. 'I keep wondering
what he will like for breakfast,' I said to Dan. 'Isn't that silly? I
hope he does not want fried potatoes. It seems so horrible to have
potatoes for breakfast.' Then I added loyally, 'But he will probably
be a very strong character, original, and unique, and men like that
always have a few idiosyncrasies, so if he wants fried potatoes for
breakfast he shall have them.'
"Dan sniffed again. He was becoming a chronic sniffer in these days of
my engagement.
"'Yeh, he'll want fried potatoes all right, and postum, and left-over
pumpkin pie. I have a picture of the big mutt in my mind now.
"Constance," he'll say, "for pity's sake put more lard in the potatoes
when you fry them. They are too dry. Take them back and cook them
over." He will want his potatoes swimming in grease, he is bound to,
that's just the kind of man he is. He will want everything greasy.
Oh, you're going to have a sweet time with that big stiff.'
"I shook my fist at him. 'He will not!' I cried. 'Don't you dare make
fun of my husband. He--he--' Then I stopped and laughed. 'Isn't it
funny how women always rush to defend their husbands when outsiders
speak against them? We may get cross at them ourselves, but no one
else shall ridicule them.'
"'Yes, you are one loving little wife all right. You sure are. You
won't let any one say a mean word against your sweet little
snookie-ookums. Oh, no. Wait till you get to darning his socks, you
won't be so crazy about him then.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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