British -- France -- Fiction; Diary fiction; Epistolary fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
It was to Bérigny that I went for Mass. The curé spoke to me afterwards,
as I was sitting under the shadow of the Calvary. He is a simple soul;
but he talked with spirit and intelligence about his Church and his
country. I found him still smarting under the well-meant fussiness of
two old maids from Bournemouth who were at the Hôtel du Dauphin last
month. It appears that they distributed Evangelical tracts in French,
wherein the present troubles of the Church in France were explained as a
divinely appointed punishment of Popery and as a divine call to the
French people to embrace Scriptural truth. The curé spoke with fine
scorn of that British sectarian animosity which hates the Pope ten times
worse than the Devil. And he confirmed what I had learned from the more
blatant Paris journals--that the so-called campaign against clericalism
is at heart a campaign against Christianity, and not only against
Christian dogma, but even against many ancient precepts of Christian
morals. More. He confirmed what I have myself read in the speeches of
deputies and even of Ministers--that the attack is not merely against
Christianity, but against the whole idea of supernatural religion, and
that it is avowedly an attempt to establish a lay state, a purely
secular community trained from childhood to believe that all religion is
superstition and that human science alone can teach men how to live and
die.
After the curé went home to break his fast, I still lingered in the
churchyard. A new plank-monument had been raised during the week over a
new tomb; and its jet-black letters on a snow-white ground reminded me
of the resolve I had made to offer a De Profundis for the faithful dead.
I found the place in my _paroissien_, and said the opening words aloud.
The sound of my own voice in that sunny field of death frightened me,
and I stopped. I began again, reading to myself. But it was of no use.
I couldn’t go on.
When it comes to downright earnest, you can’t skip from one religion to
another. Lost in a crowd one can coquet with another religion, tolerate
it, even enjoy its unfamiliar ancient ritual. But, with my De Profundis
it was different. I couldn’t shed my Protestantism like an old cloak in
the twinkling of an eye.
Not that I felt, as I sat down again on the platform of the Calvary,
that praying for the dead was false doctrine and superstitious error. I
dared not say it was true; but still less dared I say that it was false.
I thought of the two old maids from Bournemouth, their half-knowledge,
their meddling; and I felt it would be, at the very least, an
unpardonable impertinence to offer doubting prayers for needs that I
could only half understand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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