Humorous stories; Newspapers -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"The general talk was as the minister 'd do well to quit talkin' about
Heaven for a while an' come down to earth. We all know about Heaven,
'cause if you don't all you have to do is to tip back your head an'
there it is day an' night for you to look at as long as your neck don't
ache, but what we don't know about is a lot of what's right around us.
Mrs. Macy says as her view would be to take the Bible for the motto an'
then apply it right to us here to-day, an' tell us how to understand
what's goin' on in the world by its light. She says David an' Goliath
could of been Japan an' Russia with Admiral Togo for the sling shot, an'
we all felt to agree as _there_ was a idea as _no_ minister ought to
mind ownin', for Mrs. Sweet told me comin' home as she never would of
give Mrs. Macy credit for thinkin' nothin' out so closely as that. Every
one was interested right off an' you ought to of been there to see how
the idea took! Gran'ma Mullins said as she'd _always_ wanted to know
what a soft-nosed bullet looked like an' how their other features felt,
an' a sermon like that could n't but give us all a new understandin' of
a war. Then they all got to thinkin' out the thing, an' Mrs. Sweet said
as Jezabel bein' throwed to the dogs could apply to that new rule in the
city as makes you have to go around with your dog's nose in a lattice
an' yourself tied to the dog; she said when she went up there the other
day she felt like nothin' but a fool out with her brother an' him bein'
jerked here an' there a'cordin' as the dog's feelin's moved him, an' the
dog's lattice half the time over one of his two ears so he looked more
drunk than sober all day. Of course we ain't got no such rules about
dogs' noses here, but no one set down on Mrs. Sweet, because it showed
she took an interest; Mrs. Brown said when she was done as she should
think as the sun standin' still on Absalom three days could be worked up
into havin' our streets lit all night, for she says when young Dr. Brown
is out late, Amelia's so awful nervous she has to sit by her an' hold
her hand, an' young Dr. Brown always says it takes him a good hour
longer than it ought to gettin' home, on a'count o' bein' so afraid o'
runnin' into trees in the dark."
"They say--" said Mrs. Lathrop, thoughtfully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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