Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"No," said the visitor, "I was to see her last week and I sha'n't go
again for one while. Mrs. Brown 'n' me has been friends 'n' good
friends for too many years to break off sudden, but still I never
'xpected 's she'd be one to try a new receipt on me 'n' never give me
my choice's to whether I'd risk it or not until a good fifteen minutes
after I'd swallowed the last bite. I can't feel anythin' but bitter
still when I think of yesterday 'n' last night. I was sittin' there 's
innocent 's a mule eatin' thistles, 'n' all of a sudden I felt to say,
'Mrs. Brown, did you put bakin' powder or yeast in that cake?' It was
then 's she told me 't she'd up 'n' made it with suthin' 's a peddler
throwed in at the door. 'Where's the label?' I says, puttin' my hand
to where I felt the most need o' knowin' what in creation to come I
had got in me. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f she hadn't burned up the label;
so there was nothin' f'r me to do but go home 'n' come nigh to dyin'
of I did n't know what. I 've got a book, 'The Handy Family Friend,'
's tells what you 'd ought to take after you 've took anythin', 'n' I
read it 'way through to see 'f there was any rule f'r when you don't
know what you 've took, but there wa'n't no directions, 'n' so I jus'
calmly spent the night hoppin' about like mad, 'n' I 'm free to
confess 't there'll be a coolness in my feelin's towards Mrs. Brown
henceforth. I ain't said nothin' direct to her herself, but I spoke my
full mind to Mrs. Macy, 'n' Mrs. Macy give me to understand 's she
should let Mrs. Brown know my sufferin's, 'n' I mentioned to Mr.
Kimball 's I felt some hurt over bein' pierced to the core with cake
's nobody knowed what had raised it, 'n', although he laughed 'n' said
mebbe Cain raised it, still I feel he 's safe to tell every one in
town. I want 's every one sh'd know it. I consider 't when a woman
goes to see another woman she 's unsuspectin' o' any new species o'
cake-raisin', 'n' 'f there is any new species in the wind my view o'
the matter is 's it 'd ought to be tried on somebody else 'n' not on
me."
Miss Clegg stopped and shook her head hard.
"Where have you--" began Mrs. Lathrop.
"Oh, that reminds me," said the caller with a sudden start. She paused
a second, as if to gather force for the proper delivery of her next
speech; a wondrous glow of unconscious but exalted triumph rose to her
visage. "I went," she announced, her voice high-keyed with confidence
as to what was about to fall upon the totally unprepared placidity of
the unsuspecting Mrs. Lathrop,--"I went to post a letter to Cousin
Marion!"
Mrs. Lathrop's jaw dropped. A sudden and complete paralysis of all her
faculties seemed to be the immediate effect of her friend's astounding
communication.
For a full half-minute there was silence in the kitchen while Susan
rocked and enjoyed the sight of the havoc wrought by her speech.
But at last Mrs. Lathrop gathered some fragments out of the wreck of
her sensibilities and said feebly,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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