Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Who drew--" said Mrs. Lathrop.
"Mrs. Sweet drew next. 'N' she drew Augustus, 'n' when she see 't
she'd got Augustus she didn't mince matters none,--she jus' said she'd
never have no Augustus in her house, not now 'n' not never, 'n' she
put him right back, 'n' some one said 't it wasn't fair. But they
shook the bowl up good, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins 'd been tryin' so hard to
get a chance at it 't they let her come next, 'n' she drew, 'n'--my
Lord!--she let off a scream like she'd draw'd a snake 'n' it seemed 't
it was Bobby she'd got, 'n' she said, fair or not, she couldn't abide
no small boy since she god-mothered Sam Duruy, 'n' so we must excuse
her puttin' Bobby back into the sugar-bowl, and so back into the
sugar-bowl Bobby got put. Then every one begin sayin' 't it wasn't
fair, 'n' Mrs. Sperrit stood up 'n' said she knowed a good way. We'd
put sixteen numbers in the sugar-bowl 'n' all draw numbers 'n' then
choose from the childern in accordance with our numbers, No. 1 gettin'
first pick 'n' No. 2 second 'n' so on. So we did it, 'n' I drew with a
pretty heavy heart, I c'n assure you, Mrs. Lathrop, for Lord knows
what I'd 'a' done if--"
"I c'd 'a' taken--" interposed the friend.
"Yes, 'n' you'd 'a' had to too," rejoined the other. "I thought o'
that as I was feelin' 'round, prayin' Heaven to guide me; 'n' it did
too, for I got 14, 'n' after that the rest o' the meetin' was nothin'
but sheer circus for me. That was what you missed, Mrs. Lathrop, f'r I
don't believe there ever was or ever will be such a Sewin' Society
again. Every one quit sewin' in the first place, 'n' Mrs. Duruy, who
'd got No. 1, reflected some 'n' then said she 'd take Felicia Hemans
'cause Felicia c'd help her with her sewin'. Mrs. Sweet was No. 2, 'n'
she took Rachel Rebecca to sleep with Emma. Then come Gran'ma Mullins,
'n' she studied a long while 'n' then at last she decided on little
Jane 'cause little Jane sucks her thumb 'n' that's the sign of a good
child. Then Mrs. Sperrit came next, 'n' she said she'd take Bobby
'cause he couldn't do no mischief out on the farm. Gran'ma Mullins
shook her head 'n' said them laughs best as laughs last, but Mrs.
Sperrit stuck to Bobby 'n' didn't pay no attention to Gran'ma Mullins.
Well--then Mrs. Brown took Henry Ward Beecher, 'n' Mrs. Kimball took
Billy 'cause he's in the store anyhow, 'n' Mrs. Maxwell took 'Liza
Em'ly to rip, 'n' Mrs. Fisher took John Bunyan for weeds. 'N' then
Mrs. Macy just pounced on the last girl for her trundle-bed, 'n' Mrs.
Jilkins was pretty mad at there bein' no more girls after the last one
'n' she give a sort o' flounce 'n' said 'Josephus,' 'n' Miss White
give a sort o' groan 'n' said 'Fox' in a voice like death. 'N' _then_
come _the_ time!--Mrs. Davison was No. 12, 'n' every one knew it, 'n'
every one 'd been lookin' at her from time to time 'n' she hadn't been
lookin' at no one, only jus' at her number, 'n' when the time come f'r
her to say who she'd got (for naturally she didn't have no choice) she
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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