Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
The minister, on the receipt of his parishioners' ultimatum, tarried
not upon the order of his going, but went almost at once. Indeed he
and his wife packed with such alacrity that at ten o'clock upon the
following day (which was Saturday) they were both gone, and the
thirteen children, the bird, and the cow had all been distributed
according to the Sewing Society's programme.
The day was intensely hot, and in spite of the deep interest which
both felt in the wide-spread situation, neither Susan nor Mrs. Lathrop
heard any news from the thirteen seats of war until late in the
afternoon. At that hour Mrs. Macy called on Miss Clegg, and after the
call the latter walked "as far as the square" with her friend. Mrs.
Lathrop saw them go out together from her kitchen window, and when
Susan failed to return, she possessed her soul with all the unlimited
resignation which was her strong point.
Susan did not return until seven o'clock.
"I ain't comin' over," she called from the back stoop, before Mrs.
Lathrop could get to the fence; "there ain't nothin' particular to
tell 'n' under them circumstances I ain't one to bother to tell it.
Every one 't I see was out runnin' about 'n' recountin' how much
better they're doin' than might 'a' been expected. Mrs. Craig's awful
pleased over Augustus, says it was all clean slander the talk about
him, for he's 's good 's gold, jus' lays on his back on the floor 'n'
says, 'Wash zhat? Is zhat a fly? Zhi a fly? Zhu a fly?' or 'Wash zhat?
Zhat dinner? Zhi dinner? Zhu dinner?' 'n' all you have to say is
'Yes--No--No--No' pretty prompt. She says she don't consider him no
care a _tall_ 'n' she's glad to have the chance to say so right
out.--Mrs. Fisher was into the store while Mrs. Craig was talkin', 'n'
she says she's 'mused to death over John Bunyan. Seems she was never
in favor o' Mr. Fisher's havin' a garden, 'n' now John Bunyan 's gone
'n' pulled up all the beets 'n' five rows of little radishes. She was
buyin' him a ball an' laughin' to tears over how mad Mr. Fisher was.
She says he took John Bunyan by the shoulders 'n' shook him hard 'n'
asked him 'f he didn't know a radish 'n' a beet when he saw one, 'n'
John Bunyan spoke right up 'n' said, 'Course he knowed a radish 'n' a
beet when he saw 'em, but how was any one to see a radish or a beet
till after he pulled it up first?' Oh my! but Mrs. Fisher says Mr.
Fisher was hot about it, 'n' it was all of a half hour afore he got
over his mad enough to be ready to teach John Bunyan anythin' else,
'n' then he wanted to show him the first principles of graftin', 'n'
so she put a big plate of apples where they was handy for the boy to
reach, 'n' come down town herself."
Mrs. Lathrop had approached the fence step by step, and now leaned in
a confidence-inspiring attitude against its firm support. The sight
seemed to affect Miss Clegg without her being conscious of the fact,
and she abandoned her first position on the doorstep and advanced
also.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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