Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
just then 'n' said her notion o' discipline was rewardin' the good
instead o' the bad, 'n' 't she was goin' to give John Bunyan a dish o'
cookies to keep in his washstand drawer, 'cause he went out in the
garden this mornin' while Mr. Fisher was down for the mail, 'n' he
tried his last night's lesson in graftin' on things in general there,
'n' he grafted corn 'n' potatoes 'n' asparagus all back 'n' forth 'n'
killed 'em all. She says Mr. Fisher was awful mad 'n' wanted to shake
John Bunyan, but she jus' up 'n' told Mr. Fisher 't she'd been tellin'
him 't there was a mighty big difference between theory 'n' practice
f'r these many years, 'n' 't now John Bunyan was sent by the hand o'
Providence to show him jus' what she meant.
"I see Mrs. Macy too, 'n' she's happy for the whole town. Seems Roxana
was so lonesome for the other dozen 't she jus' sat 'n' rolled down
tears steady, 'n' this afternoon when Mrs. Sperrit drove in to see her
sister she jus' took Roxana home with her. She says Roxana 'll be
happy with Bobby on the farm, 'n' it's easy to be seen as Mrs. Maxwell
is envyin' Mrs. Macy, for she says 't it's as plain 's the nose on the
outside o' your face 't 'Liza Em'ly 's nothin' to rip."
Miss Clegg ceased speech to rock and fan for a minute or two.
"Did you see--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"I see every one almost," replied the other. "I see Polly Allen
wheelin' Brunhilde Susan around the square. Polly said 't the heat was
hard on the cow 'n' hard on Brunhilde Susan. She says the cow's got to
have suthin' on 'n' Brunhilde Susan's got to have everythin' off or
they ain't neither of them peaceable to live with long. I ain't so
happy over Brunhilde Susan 's I would be if she had more sense. She
was cryin' 'Moo--moo' at every dog she see, 'n' I give her a nickel to
keep her quiet, 'n' then she up 'n' lost it. We hunted an' hunted 'n'
did everythin' in kingdom come to find it--for I naturally didn't feel
to come away without it--'n' finally Polly said 's she must 'a'
swallowed it, 'n' she asked her, 'n' she said 'Yes,' 'n' I was more 'n
disgusted. It was a full minute before I could remember to thank my
stars as it wasn't a half-dollar--'s it might easy 'a' been, for bein'
the namesake of a child kind o' obliges you to be nice to 'em.
Brunhilde Susan can't never expect to get nothin' out o' her front
half, for I was give to understand 't the Brunhilde 's Felicia Hemans
was so book-took with is long dead, 'Dragged at horses' tails,' she
had the face to tell me--the joint godmother!--''N' who by?' I
couldn't in decency but ask.--'By the horses,' says Felicia Hemans,
a-gigglin' fit to beat the band. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I'm pretty
patient with the young in general, but I must say 's I can't but feel
't when them shirts o' Sam Duruy's is done 'n' their consequences is
added up, it's a even thing which draws the least,--him or Felicia.
Mrs. Macy told me 't Mrs. Duruy has her things all washed 'n' ironed
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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