Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
heat to lay some one out afore long.
"Gran'ma Mullins come up to Mrs. Macy's while I was there, 'n' she's
pretty mad. Seems she hurried to Mr. Duruy's jus' 's soon 's she heard
of the doctors there, 'n' wanted 'em to come over to her house 'n'
observe little Jane's thumb, 'n' Dr. Carter jus' flatly up and said
little Jane's thumb was beneath the kingdom o' medicine. She was awful
put out about it, 'n' she vows 'n' declares 's she'll die afore she
ever asks another doctor to do anythin' f'r her. I guess that's true
enough too, f'r 'f the minister really is gone nothin' ain't never
goin' to cure her o' little Jane. Mrs. Macy give her some tea, but she
was too used up to drink it. She says little Jane 's gettin' worse 'n'
worse. She bit a piece out of a gold-band cup last night, 'n' she
gnawed all the jet cherries off o' Gran'ma Mullins' best bonnet while
Gran'ma Mullins was to Mrs. Duruy's."
Miss Clegg paused to eat and drink somewhat. Mrs. Lathrop, who had
finished her own eating and drinking, sat breathless.
"I see Mrs. Fisher on my way home. She 's happy as ever. She says
nothin' must do last night but Mr. Fisher must build a flyin'-machine
with John Bunyan to hold the nails when he hammered. Mrs. Fisher says
she quit holdin' nails afore she'd been married a year 'n' Mr. Fisher
's jus' wild now 't he's got a new hand to hold his nails f'r him. She
says they were tinkerin' on the thing all last evenin' 'n' a good part
o' this mornin' 'n' two mattresses to beat 'n' a chair to mend 's
never counted for anythin'. Well--seems 't towards noon Mr. Fisher got
to where he could go down town to get the top part pumped up, 'n'
while he was down town what did John Bunyan do but up 'n' put wheels
on the bottom part? My! but Mrs. Fisher says 't Mr. Fisher was mad
when he got back 'n' see them wheels. He tied the pumped up part to
the hammer 't was layin' on the garden bench, 'n' then he shook John
Bunyan hard 'n' asked him what in thunder he meant by puttin' wheels
on a flyin'-machine, 'n' John Bunyan jus' up 'n' asked him to his face
how under the sun he was 'xpectin' to make the thing go 'f it didn't
have no wheels on it. Mrs. Fisher says she was in behind the kitchen
blinds 'n' she was fit to kill herself laughin' to see how mad Mr.
Fisher got,--he got so mad 't he backed up 'n' fell over the garden
bench 'n' busted the pumped up part o' the flyin'-machine all hollow.
Mrs. Fisher says it finished her to see a flyin'-machine with the top
part all holes 'n' the bottom part all wheels. She says she 's give
John Bunyan her father's cuff-button 'n' told him 'f he keeps on 's
well 's he 's begun 't she 'll give him a button f'r the other cuff
the day he's twenty-one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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