Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"He don't, because he don't dare; but there's no question what he means.
He's bringing the señora. And he wouldn't bring her if it wasn't that
he's going to marry her. Even you must see that. And if there was ever a
insult multiplied by perjury, Jathrop's done it in that action. It's a
good thing he didn't ask: 'How's Susan Clegg?' this time, as he did the
time he was coming back from the Klondike. For I don't believe I could
ever have stood that. All I can say, Mrs. Lathrop, is as I'm sorry for
you from the soles of my feet up. You'll never in the world be able to
get up a Christmas dinner as will please any señora, you can take my
word on that. And not to please her will be a bad beginning with a
señora as is to be your future daughter-in-law. Señoras don't care
shucks for turkey and mince pie. They're not used to 'em and likely to
get indigestion from 'em, and think what it would mean to Jathrop, let
alone to her, if she should be carried off by a acute attack right here
in your new, built-over house, at the dinner table. He'd blame it on
you, and like as not she'd haunt you the rest of your living days. No,
sir. You've got to give her Spanish omelets with lots of red peppers in
'em, and everything else Creole style, which means all he't up with
tabasco sauce fit to burn out your insides. It's eating like that as
makes those Spaniards and Cubans so dark colored you can't tell 'em from
mulattoes. The peppers and the tabasco sauce bakes 'em brown on the
outside, after leaving 'em all scorched and parched within."
For once, however, Susan Clegg was wrong in her deduction. Jathrop
arrived in a red automobile on the day before Christmas, with a
chauffeur in bear-skins driving, and a guest in sealskin beside him. But
the guest was not the señora. It was one of Jathrop's millionaire
friends who, Jathrop said, could buy and sell him twenty times over. He
was a small man with a bald head and a red beard and old enough to be
Jathrop's father.
Miss Clegg viewed the arrival from her bedroom window and was so glad it
wasn't the señora that she at once set about baking extra doughnuts and
mince pie to contribute to the festivities of the morrow. This occupied
her until supper time. Then she made a hurried meal, washed her one
plate and cup and saucer, and loaded down with her thank offering,
flitted through the pergola and in at Mrs. Lathrop's kitchen door. The
kitchen was empty, but voices penetrating from the dining room told her
that her friend and her visitors were still at table. Being a trifle
nervous and unable to sit quietly, she began at once to put the
disordered kitchen into some degree of order, purely for the sake of
occupation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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