Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"That's what I said,--the insurance men. Oh, Mrs. Lathrop, we all know
one side of what it is to insure ourselves, but now the Lord in his
infinite wrath has mercifully seen fit to show us the other side. The
Assyrian pouncing down on the wolf in his fold is a young mother
wrapping up her first baby to look out the window compared to those
insurance men. They descended on us bright and shining to-day, and if we
was murderers with our families buried under the kitchen floor, we
couldn't be looked on with more suspicion. I was far from pleased when I
first laid eyes on 'em, for there's a foxiness in any city man as comes
to settle things in the country as is far from being either soothing or
syrupy to him as lives in the country; but you can maybe imagine my
feelings when they very plainly informed me as I couldn't put the roof
back on Mrs. Macy's house till it was settled whether it was a cyclone
or a tornado--"
"Settled--whether--" cried Mrs. Lathrop.
"Cyclone or tornado," repeated Susan. "The first thing isn't to get to
rights, but it is to settle whether we've got any rights to get. I never
dreamed what it was to be injured--no, or no one else neither. Seems if
it's a tornado, we don't get a cent of our insurance. And to think it
all depends on Mrs. Macy."
"On Mrs.--" cried Gran'ma Mullins.
"Yes, because she's the only one as really knows whether she was carried
off or not. Well, all I can say is, if she don't come back pretty quick,
we're going to have a little John Brown raid right here in town; we--"
"But what--?"
"I'm telling you. It'll be the town rising up against the insurance men,
and the insurance men will soon find that when it comes to
dilly-dallying with folks newly cycloned upside down, it's life and
death if you don't deal fair. What with chimneys down and roofs turned
up at the corner like the inquiring angels didn't have time to take the
cover all off but just pried up a little to see what was inside,--I say
with all this and everything wet and Mrs. Macy gone, this community was
in no mood to be sealed up--"
"Sealed up!" cried Mrs. Lathrop and Gran'ma Mullins together.
"That's what it is. Sealed up we are, and sealed up we've got to stay
until Mrs. Macy gets back--"
"But--" cried Gran'ma Mullins.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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