Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"The Jilkins is in from Cherry Pond, and all it did there was to rain.
The Sperrits was in, too, and the storm was most singular with them. It
hailed in the sunshine till they see four rainbows--they never see the
beat. Mr. Weskins is advising everybody to go into their houses and make
a test case of it. Judge Fitch is advising everybody not to. It's plain
as he's on the side of the insurance men. He says just as they do, that
we'd better wait till Mrs. Macy comes back and hear her story. He says
in the very nature of things her view'll be a most general one. He says
all there is to know she'll know; she'll know the area affected and be
able to tell whether it was electricity or just wind. Mr. Kimball said
if she went far enough, she'd be a star witness; but no one thinks that
jokes about Mrs. Macy ought to be told now. The situation is too
serious. It may be _very_ serious for Mrs. Macy. If the storm stopped
sudden, it may be very serious indeed for Mrs. Macy. Mrs. Macy isn't as
young as she was, and she hadn't the least idea of leaving town; she
wasn't a bit prepared, that we can all swear to. She was just carried
away by a sudden impulse--as you might say--and the main question is
how far did she get on her impulse, and where is she now? To my order
of thinking, it all depends on how she come down. Cycloning along like
she was, if she come down on a pond or a peak, she'll be far from
finding it funny. I was thinking about her all the way here, and I can't
think of any way as'll be easy for her to come to earth, no matter how
she comes. And if she hits hard, she isn't going to like it. Mrs. Macy
was never one as took a joke pleasant; she never made light of nothing.
She took life very solemn-like--a owl was a laughing hyena compared to
Mrs. Macy. It's too bad she was that way. My own view is as she never
got over not getting married again. Some women don't. She always took it
as a reflection. There's no reflection to not getting married; my
opinion is as there's a deal of things more important and most thing's
more comfortable. If Mrs. Macy was married, she'd be much worse off than
she is right now, for instead of being able to give her whole time and
attention to whatever she's doing and looking over, she'd be wondering
what he was giving his time and attention to doing and prying into. When
a man's out of your sight, you've always got to wonder, and most of the
time that's all in the world you can do about a man. Now Mrs. Macy's
perfectly independent, she can go where she pleases and come down when
she pleases, and she hasn't got to tell what she saw unless she wants
to. Mrs. Brown says she ain't never been nowhere. It's plain to be seen
as Mrs. Brown's envying Mrs. Macy her trip."
"But why--?" began Gran'ma Mullins with great determination.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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