Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Well, Mrs. Sperrit says it come by degrees. She says she first noticed
as her cousin was trying to make up about five years ago, but she
thought she'd best wait and be sure. Mrs. Sperrit's practical; she don't
never look in anywhere until she's leaped around the edge enough to know
what she's doing. She says her cousin named her first boy Gringer, which
is Mrs. Sperrit's family name; but then, it is the cousin's family name,
too, so she didn't pay any attention to that. Then she named her first
girl Eliza, which, as we know, is Mrs. Sperrit's own name, but seeing as
it was the name of the grandmother of both of them, she didn't pay any
attention to _that_, either. Then she named the second boy Sperrit,
which was a little pointed, of course; and Mrs. Sperrit says if her
cousin had been practical, she would certainly have thought that the
Sperrits ought to have given the child something. But she wasn't and
didn't, and they didn't. Then she named the second girl Azile--which is
Eliza spelt backwards--and Mrs. Sperrit says it was the spelling of
Eliza backwards as first showed her how awful friendly her cousin was
trying to get to be. Then, when she named the third boy Jacob, after
Mr. Sperrit, and the fourth boy Bocaj--which is Jacob spelled
backwards--Mrs. Sperrit says that it was no use pretending not to see.
Besides, naming the baby Bocaj just did go to her heart, particularly as
the baby wasn't very strong, anyway. So since then the Sperrits has sent
'em a turkey every Thanksgiving and a quarter apiece to the children
every Christmas."
"What's she named the other children?" asked Mrs. Macy with real
interest.
"Why, there ain't no more yet. Bocaj is only six months old."
"Oh, then they ain't sent no turkey yet!" exclaimed Mrs. Macy.
"No, not yet, but when they begin, they'll keep it up steady. And now
Mrs. Sperrit says she'll go and visit and see for herself how things
are. She's not very hopeful of enjoying herself, for she says visiting a
person as isn't practical is most difficult. She knows, because when she
taught school, she used to board with a family as was that way. She says
she kept the things she bought then, and she shall take 'em all to her
cousin's. She says when you stay with any one as isn't practical, you
must take your own spirit-lamp, and teapot, and kettle, and tea, and
matches, and a small blanket, and pen and ink, and a box of crackers,
and a sharp knife, and some blank telegrams, and a good deal of
court-plaster, and a teacup, and sugar if you take it, and a ball of
good heavy string, and your own Bible, and a pillow. And never forget to
wear your trunk-key round your neck, even if you only go down-stairs to
look at the clock. She's got all those things left over from her
school-teaching days. She says everything always comes in handy again
some time if you're practical, and she thanks God she's practical."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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