Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Mrs. Sperrit said by the third day she had to begin to do something, so
she asked if she could clean her own room, and her cousin said she was
going to let her make herself happy in her own way and just to go ahead
and clean the whole house if she liked. So she went to work and cleaned
the whole house, and she says such a house she never dreamed could
exist. She found families of mice, and families of swallows, and
families of moths. She found things as had been lost for years, and
they was wild with delight to see 'em again. She found things as, she
says, she wouldn't like to say she found, because when all's said and
done a cousin is still a cousin, but she says--Good lands, what she
found! Well, she says when she got the house cleaned, her cousin was
still in bed, so she took heart of grace and asked if she might teach
the children to mind. Her cousin said she didn't care, so Mrs. Sperrit
went to work on those six children. Well, she says that was a job, and
it was that as led to her coming away like she did. She says the
children was the very worst children anybody ever saw. She says she
taught school, and she thought she knew children, but anything like
those children nobody--even those as is chock full of things not fit to
eat--could ever by any possibility of dreamed of. Why, she says they was
used to heating the poker and jabbing one another with it when mad; and
while you was leaning down to tie your shoe, they'd snatch your chair
away from behind you, and such games. But Mrs. Sperrit is practical,
and she believes in her Bible, and she thought as how the Lord had
delivered them into her hands and set to work. She said she begun by
washing them all--for they was always slippery from jam. And then she
cut their nails very short and started in. Well, she says it was some
work, for they was so funny she could hardly keep from laughing. She
says they're mighty bright children--she must say that for 'em, although
it don't soften her feelings a mite towards 'em. Well, she says you
couldn't do nothing a _tall_ with 'em. But she didn't lose courage. When
she talked serious, they took it as a great joke, and she had to stop
for meals so often that it used her all up; for she says such steady
eating she never see. She says the meals was most terrible, too, as they
always had herring, and of course the bones made so much picking that
the children kept telling her she ate with her fingers, herself. She
says that was the most awful part, the way they talked back. But she
didn't despair. She kept washing them out of the jam and taking a fresh
cut at their nails, until finally come the last hour of wrath. And then,
she says, they did make her mad--good and mad."
"But what did--?" began Mrs. Lathrop.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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