Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
could say was as it was a great pity as his horse was n't built enough
like the rest of the world to have better hindsight than foresight,--'n'
then I looked at the anvil in the crick--'n' then I come home."
"'N' that--" said Mrs. Lathrop, sadly.
"Yes, that very night!--it was that very night that the lightnin' struck
my house"--Susan halted a moment to turn and look at the house. "I never
will see why the lightnin' had to strike my house, Mrs. Lathrop, with
yours so handy right next door; but it did strike it--'n' me inside
sleepin' the sleep of the nigh to poverty-stricken 'n' done-up, 'n'
never as much as dreamin' of bein' woke by a brick bouncin' out of my
own flesh 'n' blood stove-hole. My heavens alive! what a night that was,
'n' even if nothin' catched fire everythin' in kingdom come rained in,
'n' when mornin' come 'n' I see what a small hole it was after all I
would n't ever have believed it if you 'd swore it till the week after
doomsday."
"And then--" said Mrs. Lathrop, sympathetically.
"Yes, 'n' then come the roof-mendin'. I never can feel to blame myself
there because I did n't want to pay no carpenter, 'n' you know yourself,
Mrs. Lathrop, as it looked just as easy to get up on that roof as to
fall off any other. I hung the shingles around my neck 'n' put the nails
in my mouth 'n' the hammer down my back, 'n' then I went up the lattice
'n' got over the little window on to the ridge-pole. You know, Mrs.
Lathrop, how simple it all seemed from the ground, 'n' I was to just sit
edgeways from the end of the peak right along up to the hole, but you
've heard me remark afore 'n' I will now remark again as no one on the
ground has any notion of ridge-poles as they really are. A ridge-pole
from the ground, Mrs. Lathrop, looks like it could n't be fell off, but
from itself it feels like it could n't be stuck on to, 'n' I thought I
'd swallow the last one of them nails gaspin' afore I got to the hole.
You saw me tryin' to get to the hole, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' then you saw me
tryin' to get the hammer. I thought I 'd go somer-settin' head over
heels afore I got it fished out 'n' then there was n't no place to lay
it down!
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I never shall be able to look back on that day and
hour without a cold conscience. It was certainly a awful time. I took a
nail out of my mouth 'n' a shingle off my neck 'n' made ready to begin.
I took the hammer 'n'--just then--I looked down--'n' if there was n't
the minister 'n' his wife just turnin' in my gate!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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