"Well, of course, that came nigh to endin' me ever 'n' ever! No Christian would ever dream of answering her front-door bell from her back ridge-pole, 'n' I never was one to do nothin' as folks could talk of. I see it was do or die right then or there 'n' I made a quick slide for the porch roof. You know what happened, 'n' I never have felt to forgive the minister, even if it was n't him as drove that unexpected nail in my roof. Mrs. Lathrop, we 've spoke of this afore, 'n' I 've said then, 'n' I 'll say now, that in spite of my likin' for you, _no_ one as rocks forever on a cushion can be able to even surmise what it is to slide quick over a unexpected nail, 'n' so it was only natural that even in the first hour I never looked for anything from you but Pond's Extract. But I may remark further--for it 's right you should know--that nothin' in my whole life ever rasped me worse the wrong way of my hair than to watch you rockin' that fortnight that I had my choice to stand up or go to bed, 'n' even in bed I had to get up 'n' get out if I wanted to turn over. Mr. Shores told Mrs. Macy as probably it was the sun as had drawed that nail, 'n' all I can say is that I hope if it was the sun 'n' he ever takes it into his head to draw another of my nails, that he 'll either draw it completely out or leave it completely in, for I know as I never want to come down from another ridge-pole by way of another nail--not while I 'm alive anyhow." A short pause and a long sigh. Mrs. Lathrop sighed, too. "Then come the bill from the carpenter 'n' from young Doctor Brown, 'n' for raisin' the anvil, 'n' I was hardly onto _my_ legs before Mr. Dill's horse quit his hind ones. Mr. Weskin was up 'n' doin' as usual 'n' advised bringin' a joint suit with the blacksmith for the anvil 'n' me for the crick, but even if I was helpless the blacksmith wa' n't goin' to be sued if he could do anything else, 'n' he brung Mr. Dill up to see if we could n't arbitrate ourselves. Mr. Dill 's always been very nice to me, but that wheat-fly made him so mad to be paid something by somebody that it took the blacksmith 'n' me and four glasses of root beer to bring him to reason. In the end he said if the blacksmith would shoe everything he owned till it died 'n' if I would put up Lucy's currants till I died that he 'd call them two legs straight. We wrote a paper 'n' signed it 'n' I went to bed, 'n' seemed like my trials were certainly more than any mortal could stand under, particularly when you consider that a good deal of the time I had n't been able to sit down.