Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Gran'ma Mullins said Hannah said it made her mad only to look at him;
he was sittin' in the little shady parlor, jus' softly rockin' back 'n'
forth, readin' a book as told why the Dead Sea 's dead. Well, Hannah
said no words could tell how much madder she got when she got right in
front o' him--to see a able-bodied man rockin' 'n' readin' Dead Seas on
top of a empty cistern. Hannah was never one to keep her own counsel in
the face of her own feelin's, you know, 'n' she jus' went right up in
front of Rufus 'n' said as calm as she could, 'Mr. Timmans, where's the
water for the wash to come from?' Gran'ma Mullins said Hannah always
said as she tried to stay calm but she give out young, 'n' the sight o'
Rufus liftin' his superior eyes jus' did for her. She put her two hands
on her two hips, an' let out right then 'n' there, 'Mr. Timmans,' she
says, 'you was so sure 't there was a rat drowned in the cistern,' she
says, 'that nothin' mus' do but you mus' clean it out,' she says; ''n'
there wa'n't no rat,' she says, ''n' it ain't rained since,' she says,
''n' how're we to wash?' she says,--'n' then she waited to see what he
would say, 'n' she said a lamb would o' begun to hop about 'n' yowl with
mad to see how kind of calm 'n' dazed like 'n' altogether peaceful 'n'
happy he looked up at her. 'N' he says, quite placid 'n' contented,
'Can't you get some water out o' the pond?' he says. 'Out o' the pond!'
says Hannah, high-keyed like,--Gran'ma Mullins says Hannah always went
high-keyed easy,--'out o' that muddy, swampy, slimy, marshy, cow-churned
pond,' says Hannah, 'out o' that nasty, dirty, filthy, green pond,' says
Hannah, gettin' high-keyeder 'n' high-keyeder. 'I can get it clean for
you,' says Rufus, a-openin' the Dead Sea 'n' runnin' his eyes aroun' for
his place,--'jus' say when you want it,' he says. Well, Gran'ma Mullins
said Hannah always said as she never knowed what kept her off him at
that minute, for she was that mad she felt like the righteous judgment
o' the Lord was in the ends of her very finger-nails. '_Now_,' she says,
'right _now_,' she says; 'that's when I want it,' she says. Rufus looked
up 'n' see she was in earnest, 'n' she says the way he sighed like he
was a martyr as led the band was enough to have ended her patience once
'n' for all time if it had n't been for the wash, 'n' then he carefully
turned a leaf down in the Dead Sea 'n' got out o' the rocker 'n' went
'n' got Nathan Lumb 'n' they went off together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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