DEAR MR. PUBLISHER--You can print any ...[3] thing you like about me--true or not, it does not matter. Only in the latter case it will come a little dearer. I am called Toady Lion, and I have stood this sort of thing ever since I can remember. Though I must say father has been awfully decent about it, and I got a Rudge-Whitworth "free-wheel" out of him two years running on the strength of what you sent him. But there's no hope of coming that with Sis, who is always "stony," anyway, and won't believe what an awfully expensive place the Coll. is. My "bike" is going to be awfully dangerous this year--that is, if I don't get a new one somehow. It is only my second best, and much too small for me. I might get killed, very likely, and then you couldn't publish any more books about me! _I suppose you don't feel as if you could_ ... No? That means "Yes," but don't let on to father. For, you see, last summer, when I had measles or something, I sold my best machine to a poor boy who hadn't any. Just think of that--the cruelty of it! But as I have never let my left hand know what my right hand does, I don't want father to do so either. So you won't give me away. (Signed) G. P. PICTON SMITH, R. N. P. S.--I might get a pretty good one for a tenner, but if it _could_ possibly run to fifteen, I know where I could pick up an awfully swell "two-speed-gear" like what some of the masters have at our Coll. But, dear Mr. Publisher, this is only a suggestion.--T. Lion. P. S. No. 2.--If _you_ did see your way to the 2-Speed, I tell you what--you could make up any old thing you liked about me--such as that I killed my grand-aunt Jane, and hid the remains in my Black Sea Chest. I've got one, honor bright. Only no grand-aunt Jane. So the crime could never, never be discovered; and I would never deny it a bit, but back you up like fun. Of course it is understood between gentlemen that this last is on the two-speed-basis, as above. T. LION, Now Cadet G. P. Picton Smith, R. N. (Postal Notes Preferred.) [Footnote 3: The word "blooming" is scored out here, as being too nautical for present publication.--Ed.] LETTER NO. 3. FROM MAID MARGARET. DEAR SIR--(I would put "Publisher," but am not sure whether it is spelt with a B or a P--in the middle, I mean.) The boys want me to join in their protest, but you will excuse me, dear Sir. And the reason is that I sleep in the same room with the authoress. If you have any little girls, they will understand. Yours Afftly, MAID MARGARET. Letter No. 4 Elizabeth Fortinbras's Letter.