Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
On the evening before the wedding van Tuiver was to attend a
“stag-dinner” with his friends; but he called in to see her for a few
minutes, and the family discreetly left them alone. In a sudden access
of longing, he clasped her in his arms, and she forced herself to
submit. Then he began to kiss her, to press passionate kisses upon her
cheek and throat. His breath was hot, and utterly horrible to her; she
could not endure it, and cried out to him to stop, and struggled and
pushed him away. Still holding her, and gazing at her with desire
blazing in his eyes, he whispered, “Not yet?”
“Oh, how could you?” she cried.
“Is it not time you were beginning to learn?” he demanded; and then,
wholly beside himself, “Sylvia, how much longer am I to endure this?
Can’t you understand what you make me suffer? I love you—I love you to
distraction, and I get nothing from you—nothing! I dare not even tell
you that I love you!”
The passion in his voice made her shudder; and yet, too, she pitied him.
She was ashamed of herself for the way she treated him. “What can I do?”
she cried. “I can’t help it—as God is my witness, I can’t control my
feelings. I ask myself, ought I to marry you so?”
“It seems to me it’s rather late to bring up that question,” he
responded.
“I know, I know! I have nothing to say for myself—except that I didn’t
know, I couldn’t realize. It’s something I must tell you—how I have come
to feel—that I ought not to marry you, that you ought not to want me to
marry you, while things are like this. You must know this, so that if I
marry you, the responsibility will be yours!”
“And you think that is fair of you?” he demanded, his voice grown
suddenly hard.
He meant to rebuke her, and she felt that he had a right to rebuke her;
but the wave of emotion which swept her along was not to be controlled
by her reason. “Oh, you are going to be angry about it!” she cried. “How
horrible of you!”
He exclaimed, “Sylvia! Can you expect me not to be hurt?”
“I told you that I couldn’t help it! I told you in the very beginning
that you would have to take me as I was, and be satisfied if I did my
best! I told you that again and again—that I loved another man, that I
love him still—”
She stopped. A spasm of pain crossed his face—followed by a look of
fear. He hesitated, and then, his voice low and trembling, he began,
“Sylvia, forgive me. I know that you are right—that you are trying to do
your best. I will be patient. You must be patient with me also.”
She stood, her head bowed, ashamed of what she had said. Yet—she felt
that he ought to have heard it. “I hate to seem unfair,” she whispered,
her voice almost breaking. “I don’t want to give you pain, but I can’t
help these feelings, and I know it’s my duty to tell you of them. I
don’t see how you can go on—I should think you would be afraid to marry
me!”
For answer he caught her hands, exclaiming, “I will take my chances! I
love you, and I will never rest until you love me!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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