Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
“Quite literally that,” said Sylvia. “I hated you before I ever laid
eyes on you—because of the way you’d impressed your friends.”
There was a pause; when van Tuiver spoke again it was in a low and
uncertain voice. “Miss Castleman,” he said, “has it ever occurred to you
to think what might be the difficulties of my situation?”
“No, I haven’t had time for that.”
“Well, take this one fact. You say that I have made a certain impression
upon everyone who knows me. But you are the first person in my whole
lifetime who’s ever told me.”
Sylvia gave an exclamation of incredulity.
“Don’t you see?” pressed on the other, eagerly. “What is a man to do? I
have a great deal of money. I can’t help that. And I can’t help the fact
that it gives me a great deal of power. I can’t help having a sense of
responsibility.”
“The sense of responsibility has been too much for you,” said Sylvia.
This was too subtle for him. He hurried on: “Maybe it’s right, maybe
it’s wrong—but circumstances have given me a certain position, and I
have to maintain it. I have certain duties which I must fulfill, which I
can’t possibly get away from.”
There was a pause. He seemed to feel that the situation was not
satisfactory, and started again. “It’s all very well for you, who don’t
realize my position, the responsibilities I have—it’s all very well for
you to talk about my consciousness of money. But how can I get away from
it? People know about my money, they think about it—they expect certain
things of me. They put me in a certain position, whether I will or not.”
He stopped again. He was so greatly agitated that Sylvia was beginning
to feel pity. “Do you have to be what people expect you to be?” she
said.
“But,” he argued, “I have the money, and I have to make use of it—to
invest it—to protect it——”
“Ah, but all that is in the business world. What I’m talking about is in
a separate sphere—your social relations.”
“But, Miss Castleman, that’s just it—_is_ it separate? It ought to be,
you’ll say—but _is_ it? I tell you, you simply don’t know, that’s all.
People profess friendship for me, but they want something, and by and by
I find out what it is they want. You say that’s monstrous; I know, I
used to think it was, myself. You say, I ought not to know it; but I
can’t _help_ knowing it; it’s forced upon me by all the circumstances of
my life. Sometimes I think I’ve never had a disinterested friend since I
was born!”
Sylvia perceived the intensity behind his words, and was silent for a
minute. “But surely,” she said, “here—in the democracy of college
life——”
“It’s exactly the same here as anywhere else. Here are clubs, social
cabals, everybody pushing and intriguing, exactly as in New York
society. Take that fact you spoke of—that all the fellows dislike me,
and yet not one of them has dared to tell me so!”
“_Dared?_” repeated Sylvia.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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