Sylvia & Michael: The later adventures of Sylvia ScarlettMacKenzie, Compton
General
Sylvia & Michael: The later adventures of Sylvia Scarlett
MacKenzie, Compton
Fiction
"I sha'n't fail."
"Is God already put on one side?"
"I shall pray," said Sylvia.
"Yes, I think that is almost better than relying too much upon the human
will."
Two things struck Sylvia when she had left the church and was walking
back to the hotel: the first was that the priest had really said very
little in response to that long outpouring of her history, and the
second was that here in this street it did not seem nearly as easy to
solve the problem of Queenie's soul as it had seemed in the church. Yet,
when she came to think over the priest's words, she could not imagine
how he could have spoken differently.
"I suppose I expected to be congratulated as one is congratulated upon
a successful performance," she said to herself. "That's the worst of a
histrionic career like mine: one can't get rid of the footlights even in
the confessional. As a matter of fact, I ought to be grateful that he
accepted the spirit of my confession without haggling over the form, as
from his point of view he might have done most justifiably. Perhaps he
was tired and didn't want to start an argument. And yet no, I don't
think it was that. He came down like a hammer on the main objection to
me--my pride. He was really wonderfully unecclesiastical. It's a funny
thing, but I seem to be much less spiritually exalted than I ought to be
after such a reconciliation. I seem to have lost for the moment that
first fine careless rapture of conversion. Does that mean that the whole
business was an emotional blunder and that I'm feeling disappointed? No,
I don't feel disappointed: I feel practical. I suppose my friend the
priest wouldn't accept the comparison, but it reminds me of how I felt
when, after I had first conceived the idea of my Improvisations, I had
to set about doing them. Everything has its drudgery: love produces
household cares; art, endless work; religion, religious duties. The
moment of attraction, the moment of inspiration, the moment of
conversion--if they could only endure! Perhaps heaven is the infinite
prolongation of such moments.
"And then there's Queenie. It's not much use my leading her to the font
as one leads a horse to water, because, though I should regard it as
Infant Baptism, the priest would not. Yet I don't see why he shouldn't
instruct her like a child. Poor priest! He could hardly have expected
such problems as myself and Queenie when he was so anxious to get rid of
that old woman who was pestering him. I think I won't bother about
Queenie for a bit, until I have practised a little subordination of
myself first. She's got to acquire a soul of her own; it's no use my
presenting her with a piece of mine."
Queenie had been back from the hairdresser's for a long time when
Sylvia reached the hotel, and was wondering what had become of her
friend.
"You've been out alone," she said, reproachfully. "Your headache is
better, I think. Yes?"
"My headache?" Sylvia repeated. "Yes, it's much better. I've been
indulging in spiritual aspirin."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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