I remember vividly the first time that the infant was fed: all of us
gathered round, with matter-of-course professional air, as if these
elaborate hygienic ceremonies were the universal custom when newly-born
infants first taste their mothers’ milk. Standing in the background, I
saw Sylvia start with dismay, as she noted how pale and thin the poor
little one had become. It was hunger that caused the whimpering, so the
nurse declared, busying herself in the meantime to keep the tiny
hands from the mother’s face. The latter sank back and closed her
eyes--nothing, it seemed, could prevail over the ecstasy of that first
marvellous sensation, but afterwards she asked that I might stay with
her, and as soon as the others were gone, she unmasked the batteries
of her suspicion upon me. “Mary! What in the world has happened to my
baby?”
So began a new stage in the campaign of lying. “It’s nothing, nothing.
Just some infection. It happens frequently.”
“But what is the cause of it?”
“We can’t tell. It may be a dozen things. There are so many possible
sources of infection about a birth. It’s not a very sanitary thing, you
know.”
“Mary! Look me in the face!”
“Yes, dear?”
“You’re not deceiving me?”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean--it’s not really something serious? All these doctors--this
mystery--this vagueness!”
“It was your husband, my dear Sylvia, who sent the doctors--it was
his stupid man’s way of being attentive.” (This at Aunt Varina’s
suggestion--the very subtle lady!).
“Mary, I’m worried. My baby looks so badly, and I feel something is
wrong.”
“My dear Sylvia,” I chided, “if you worry about it you will simply be
harming the child. Your milk may go wrong.”
“Oh, that’s just it! That’s why you would not tell me the truth!”
We persuade ourselves that there are certain circumstances under which
lying is necessary, but always when we come to the lies we find them
an insult to the soul. Each day I perceived that I was getting in
deeper--and each day I watched Aunt Varina and the doctor busied to push
me deeper yet.
There had come a telegram from Douglas van Tuiver to Dr. Perrin,
revealing the matter which stood first in that gentleman’s mind.
“I expect no failure in your supply of the necessary tact.” By this
vagueness we perceived that he too was trusting no secrets to telegraph
operators. Yet for us it was explicit and illuminative. It recalled the
tone of quiet authority I had noted in his dealings with his chauffeur,
and it sent me off by myself for a while to shake my fist at all
husbands.
19. Mrs. Tuis, of course, had no need of any warning from the head
of the house. The voice of her ancestors guided her in all such
emergencies. The dear lady had got to know me quite well, at the more or
less continuous dramatic rehearsals we conducted; and now and then her
trembling hands would seek to fasten me in the chains of decency. “Mrs.
Abbott, think what a scandal there would be if Mrs. Douglas van Tuiver
were to break with her husband!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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