“No, it was nobody’s fault. Think of the thousands and tens of thousands
of babies that become blind! It’s a dreadful accident that happens.” So
I went on--possessed with a dread that had been with me for days, that
had kept me awake for hours in the night: Had I, in any of my talks with
Sylvia about venereal disease, mentioned blindness in infants as one
of the consequences? I could not rememher; but now was the time I would
find out!
She lay there, immovable, like a woman who had died in grief; until at
last I flung my arms about her and whispered, “Sylvia! Sylvia! Please
cry!”
“I can’t cry!” she whispered, and her voice sounded hard.
So, after a space, I said, “Then, dear, I think I will have to make you
laugh.”
“Laugh, Mary?”
“Yes-I will tell you about the quarrel between Aunt Varina and myself.
You know what times we’ve been having-how I shocked the poor lady?”
She was looking at me, but her eyes were not seeing me. “Yes, Mary,” she
said, in the same dead tone.
“Well, that was a game we made for you. It was very funny!”
“Funny?”
“Yes! Because I really did shock her-though we started out just to give
you something else to think about!”
And then suddenly I saw the healing tears begin to come. She could not
weep for her own grief-but she could weep because of what she knew we
two had had to suffer for her!
21. I went out and told the others what I had done; and Mrs. Tuis
rushed in to her niece and they wept in each other’s arms, and Mrs. Tuis
explained all the mysteries of life by her formula, “the will of the
Lord.”
Later on came Dr. Perrin, and it was touching to see how Sylvia treated
him. She had, it appeared, conceived the idea that the calamity must be
due to some blunder on his part, and then she had reflected that he was
young, and that chance had thrown upon him a responsibility for which he
had not bargained. He must be reproaching himself bitterly, so she had
to persuade him that it was really not so bad as we were making it-that
a blind child was a great joy to a mother’s soul-in some ways even a
greater joy than a perfectly sound child, because it appealed so to
her protective instinct! I had called Sylvia a shameless payer of
compliments, and now I went away by myself and wept.
Yet it was true in a way. When the infant was brought in to be nursed
again, how she clung to it, a very picture of the sheltering and
protecting instinct of motherhood! She knew the worst now--her mind was
free, and she could partake of what happiness was allowed her. The child
was hers to love and care for, and she would find ways to atone to it
for the harshness of fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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