“Ah, but I is doing bofe, Miss Praticular!” Bruno exclaimed
triumphantly. “I wishted to speak about the Gemplun--and I wishted to
speak to the Gemplun. So a course I said 'Mister Sir'!”
“That's all right, Bruno,” I said.
“Course it's all right!” said Bruno. “Sylvie just knows nuffin at all!”
“There never was an impertinenter boy!” said Sylvie, frowning till her
bright eyes were nearly invisible.
“And there never was an ignoranter girl!” retorted Bruno. “Come along
and pick some dindledums. That's all she's fit for!” he added in a very
loud whisper to me.
“But why do you say 'Dindledums,' Bruno? Dandelions is the right word.”
“It's because he jumps about so,” Sylvie said, laughing.
“Yes, that's it,” Bruno assented. “Sylvie tells me the words, and then,
when I jump about, they get shooken up in my head--till they're all
froth!”
I expressed myself as perfectly satisfied with this explanation. “But
aren't you going to pick me any dindledums, after all?”
“Course we will!” cried Bruno. “Come along, Sylvie!” And the happy
children raced away, bounding over the turf with the fleetness and grace
of young antelopes.
“Then you didn't find your way back to Outland?” I said to the
Professor.
“Oh yes, I did!” he replied, “We never got to Queer Street; but I found
another way. I've been backwards and forwards several times since then.
I had to be present at the Election, you know, as the author of the new
Money-act. The Emperor was so kind as to wish that I should have the
credit of it. 'Let come what come may,' (I remember the very words of
the Imperial Speech) 'if it should turn out that the Warden is alive,
you will bear witness that the change in the coinage is the Professor's
doing, not mine!' I never was so glorified in my life, before!” Tears
trickled down his cheeks at the recollection, which apparently was not
wholly a pleasant one.
“Is the Warden supposed to be dead?”
“Well, it's supposed so: but, mind you, I don't believe it! The evidence
is very weak--mere hear-say. A wandering Jester, with a Dancing-Bear
(they found their way into the Palace, one day) has been telling people
he comes from Fairyland, and that the Warden died there. I wanted the
Vice-Warden to question him, but, most unluckily, he and my Lady
were always out walking when the Jester came round. Yes, the Warden's
supposed to be dead!” And more tears trickled down the old man's cheeks.
“But what is the new Money-Act?”
The Professor brightened up again. “The Emperor started the thing,” he
said. “He wanted to make everybody in Outland twice as rich as he was
before just to make the new Government popular. Only there wasn't nearly
enough money in the Treasury to do it. So I suggested that he might do
it by doubling the value of every coin and bank-note in Outland. It's
the simplest thing possible. I wonder nobody ever thought of it before!
And you never saw such universal joy. The shops are full from morning to
night. Everybody's buying everything!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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