City and town life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
There you were. This was once more plain sailing. He could follow it.
What was the matter with Miss Alicia? She was kneeling again, everybody
was kneeling. Where was the hassock? He went down upon his knees, hoping
Miss Alicia had not seen that he wasn't going to kneel at all. Then when
the minister said “Amen,” the congregation said it, too, and he came in
too late, so that his voice sounded out alone. He must watch that. Then
the minister knelt, and all the people prayed aloud with him. With the
book before him he managed to get in after the first few words; but he
was not ready with the responses, and in the middle of them everybody
stood up again. And then the organ played, and every one sang. He
couldn't sing, anyhow, and he knew he couldn't catch on to the kind of
thing they were doing. He hoped Miss Alicia wouldn't mind his standing
up and holding his book and doing nothing. He could not help seeing that
eyes continually turned toward him. They'd notice every darned break he
made, and Miss Alicia would know they did. He felt quite hot more than
once. He watched Miss Alicia like a hawk; he sat down and listened to
reading, he stood up and listened to singing; he kneeled, he tried to
chime in with “Amens” and to keep up with Miss Alicia's bending of head
and knee. But the creed, with its sudden turn toward the altar, caught
him unawares, he lost himself wholly in the psalms, the collects left
him in deep water, hopeless of ever finding his place again, and the
litany baffled him, when he was beginning to feel safe, by changing from
“miserable sinners” to “Spare us Good Lord” and “We beseech thee to hear
us.” If he could just have found the place he would have been all
right, but an honest anxiety to be right excited him, and the fear of
embarrassing Miss Alicia by going wrong made the morning a strenuous
thing. He was so relieved to find he might sit still when the sermon
began that he gave the minister an attention which might have marked
him, to the chance beholder, as a religious enthusiast.
By the time the service had come to an end the stately peace of the
place had seemed to sink into his being and become part of himself.
The voice of the minister bestowing his blessing, the voices of the
white-clothed choir floating up into the vaulted roof, stirred him to a
remote pleasure. He liked it, or he knew he would like it when he knew
what to do. The filing out of the choristers, the silent final prayer,
the soft rustle of people rising gently from their knees, somehow
actually moved him by its suggestion of something before unknown. He was
a heathen still, but a heathen vaguely stirred.
He was very quiet as he walked home across the park with Miss Alicia.
“How did you enjoy the sermon?” she asked with much sweetness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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