City and town life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
But though she had come to alarm him so that he would be put to absolute
flight, she had also come for another reason. She had never seen Temple
Barholm, and she had discovered before they had known each other a week
that it was Jem's secret passion. He had loved it with a slighted and
lonely child's romantic longing; he had dreamed of it as boy and man,
knowing that it must some time be his own, his home, and yet prevented
by his uncle's attitude toward him from daring to act as though he
remembered the fact. Old Mr. Temple Barholm's special humor had been
that of a man guarding against presumption.
Jem had not intended to presume, but he had been snubbed with relentless
cruelty even for boyish expressions of admiration. And he had hid his
feeling in his heart until he poured it out to Joan. To-day it would
have been his. Together, together, they would have lived in it and loved
every stone of it, every leaf on every great tree, every wild daffodil
nodding in the green grass. Most people, God be thanked! can forget. The
wise ones train themselves beyond all else to forgetting.
Joan had been a luckless, ill-brought-up, passionate child and girl. In
her Mayfair nursery she had been as little trained as a young savage.
Since her black hour she had forgotten nothing, allowed herself no
palliating moments. Her brief dream of young joy had been the one
real thing in her life. She absolutely had lain awake at night and
reconstructed the horror of Jem's death, had lived it over again,
writhing in agony on her bed, and madly feeling that by so doing she was
holding her love close to her life.
And the man who stood in the place Jem had longed for, the man who sat
at the head of his table, was this “thing!” That was what she felt him
to be, and every hurt she could do him, every humiliation which should
write large before him his presumption and grotesque unfitness, would be
a blow struck for Jem, who could never strike a blow for himself again.
It was all senseless, but she had not want to reason. Fate had not
reasoned in her behalf. She watched Tembarom under her lids at the
dinner-table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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