City and town life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“No, don't go! Don't!” she begged. “It is so wonderful to find some one
who sees the cruelty of it.” She spoke fast and passionately. “No one
would listen to any defense of him. My mother simply raved when I said
what you are saying.”
“Do you want “--he put it to her with a curious comprehending of her
emotion--“to talk about him? Would it do you good?”
“Yes! Yes! I have never talked to any one. There has been no one to
listen.”
“Talk all you want,” he answered, with immense gentleness. “I'm here.”
“I can't understand it even now, but he would not see me!” she broke
out. “I was half mad. I wrote, and he would not answer. I went to his
chambers when I heard he was going to leave England. I went to beg him
to take me with him, married or unmarried. I would have gone on my knees
to him. He was gone! Oh, why? Why?”
“You didn't think he'd gone because he didn't love you?” he put it to
her quite literally and unsentimentally. “You knew better than that?”
“How could I be sure of anything! When he left the room that awful night
he would not look at me! He would not look at me!”
“Since I've been here I've been reading a lot of novels, and I've found
out a lot of things about fellows that are not the common, practical
kind. Now, he wasn't. He'd lived pretty much like a fellow in a novel, I
guess. What's struck me about that sort is that they think they have to
make noble sacrifices, and they'll just walk all over a woman because
they won't do anything to hurt her. There's not a bit of sense in it,
but that was what he was doing. He believed he was doing the square
thing by you--and you may bet your life it hurt him like hell. I beg
your pardon--but that's the word--just plain hell.”
“I was only a girl. He was like iron. He went away alone. He was killed,
and when he was dead the truth was told.”
“That's what I've remembered “--quite slowly--“every time I've looked at
you. By gee! I'd have stood anything from a woman that had suffered as
much as that.”
It made her cry--his genuineness--and she did not care in the least that
the tears streamed down her cheeks. How he had stood things! How he had
borne, in that odd, unimpressive way, insolence and arrogance for which
she ought to have been beaten and blackballed by decent society! She
could scarcely bear it.
“Oh! to think it should have been you,” she wept, “just you who
understood!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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