City and town life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“Well, sir, it means doing all you require, and being always in
attendance when you change.”
“How much do you get for it?”
“Thirty shillings a week, sir.”
“Say, Pearson,” said Tembarom, with honest feeling, “I'll give you sixty
shillings a week NOT to do it.”
Calmed though he had felt a few moments ago, it cannot be denied that
Pearson was aghast. How could one be prepared for developments of such
an order?
“Not to do it, sir!” he faltered. “But what would the servants think if
you had no one to valet you?”
“That's so. What would they think?” But he evidently was not dismayed,
for he smiled widely. “I guess the plainclothes man would throw a fit.”
But Pearson's view was more serious and involved a knowledge of not
improbable complications. He knew “the hall” and its points of view.
“I couldn't draw my wages, sir,” he protested. “There'd be the greatest
dissatisfaction among the other servants, sir, if I didn't do my duties.
There's always a--a slight jealousy of valets and ladies'-maids. The
general idea is that they do very little to earn their salaries. I've
seen them fairly hated.”
“Is that so? Well, I'll be darned!” remarked Mr. Temple Barholm. He
gave a moment to reflection, and then cheered up immensely.
“I'll tell you how we'll fix it. You come up into my room and bring your
tatting or read a newspaper while I dress.” He openly chuckled. “Holy
smoke! I've GOT to put on my shirt and swear at my collar-buttons
myself. If I'm in for having a trained nurse do it for me, it'll give me
the Willies. When you danced around me before dinner--”
Pearson's horror forced him to commit the indiscretion of interrupting.
“I hope I didn't DANCE, sir,” he implored. “I tried to be extremely
quiet.”
“That was it,” said Tembarom. “I shouldn't have said danced; I meant
crept. I kept thinking I should tread on you, and I got so nervous
toward the end I thought I should just break down and sob on your bosom
and beg to be taken back to home and mother.”
“I'm extremely sorry, sir, I am, indeed,” apologized Pearson, doing his
best not to give way to hysterical giggling. How was a man to keep a
decently straight face, and if one didn't, where would it end? One thing
after another.
“It was not your fault. It was mine. I haven't a thing against you.
You're a first-rate little chap.”
“I will try to be more satisfactory to-morrow.”
There must be no laughing aloud, even if one burst a blood-vessel. It
would not do. Pearson hastily confronted a vision of a young footman
or Mr. Burrill himself passing through the corridors on some errand
and hearing master and valet shouting together in unseemly and wholly
incomprehensible mirth. And the next remark was worse than ever.
“No, you won't, Pearson,” Mr. Temple Barholm asserted. “There's where
you're wrong. I've got no more use for a valet than I have for a pair of
straight-front corsets.”
This contained a sobering suggestion.
“But you said, sir, that--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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