Take Me for a Ride: Coming of Age in a Destructive CultLaxer, Mark E.
Religion
Take Me for a Ride: Coming of Age in a Destructive Cult
Laxer, Mark E.
Cults -- United States; Lenz, Frederick, 1950-
Rama looked surprised. This was not the kind of response he
had in mind.
Rachel smiled at me.
I turned to Suzanne. ("You say that I suffer from delusions that
I'm Luke Skywalker. Perhaps.") I said, "I hardly even know you."
I turned to Dana. ("I've had a crush on you since the time
in the San Diego airport, under the palms.") I said, "I don't know
if you've been sending me sexual energy or what, but for years
I've been very attracted to you."
She raised her eyebrows. So did Rama. So did the others.
I had broken a taboo. Sexual attraction was not something we were
supposed to discuss, particularly in a group, particularly with Rama,
particularly regarding one of Rama's women, and *particularly*
regarding Dana who, along with Anne, was Rama's closest disciple.
I turned to Anne. ("If only I were older.") I said, "I feel
the same way about you."
More looks of surprise.
I felt exhilarated. I was not accustomed to voicing my gut feelings.
I turned to Sal. ("No, old friend, I'm not trying to steal your power.")
I said, "You have gotten a little paranoid over the past few years.
I hope you can work it out."
He frowned.
I turned to Donna. ("Are you still planning to marry Rama?")
I said, "I have no problem with you."
She nodded.
I turned to Paul. ("What's the penguin doing on the tehlee?")
I said, "We are friends."
He grinned.
"In other words," Rama interrupted, "you have Paul wrapped around
your finger. You have learned much." His twisted compliment threw
me off balance, and I failed to defend the seven-year friendship.
I turned to my brother. ("Love ya, bro.") I said, "I am not
attacking you in the Dream Plane."
"Oh no?" Rama interrupted again.
"I'm not conscious of it."
"Oh, sure you're not," mocked Rama. Then, in a professorial voice,
he explained how, in each family, only a limited amount of power could
be passed to the offspring. "Typically, one child claims most of it.
The others are often so drained that they don't even notice
it's gone."
"Rama is an only child," I thought.
"Agni used to have the power," he went on. "Now Dan has it.
They will have to fight each other for the rest of their lives..."
"That's bull!" I shouted.
The disciples looked shocked. No one spoke that way to Rama.
Now I was angry. It was still my turn. I turned to Rama.
My heart was pounding. ("Why do you tell Dana to tell me to tell
Tom to call you? Why can't you call your old friend on your own?
You're playing power games.") I said, "You're a grown man. You have
a Ph.D. You run a computer company and a spiritual organization.
Given three phone numbers, I think you should be able to contact Tom
by *yourself*." I sat down, stunned. I had spoken honestly to Rama.
It was invigorating.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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