‘My God!’ he cried, ‘but what have I done? and when did I begin? To be
made a class assistant—in the name of reason, where’s the harm in that?
Service wanted the position; Service might have got it. Would _he_ have
been where _I_ am now?’
‘My dear fellow,’ said Macfarlane, ‘what a boy you are! What harm _has_
come to you? What harm _can_ come to you if you hold your tongue? Why,
man, do you know what this life is? There are two squads of us—the lions
and the lambs. If you’re a lamb, you’ll come to lie upon these tables
like Gray or Jane Galbraith; if you’re a lion, you’ll live and drive a
horse like me, like K—, like all the world with any wit or courage.
You’re staggered at the first. But look at K—! My dear fellow, you’re
clever, you have pluck. I like you, and K— likes you. You were born to
lead the hunt; and I tell you, on my honour and my experience of life,
three days from now you’ll laugh at all these scarecrows like a High
School boy at a farce.’
And with that Macfarlane took his departure and drove off up the wynd in
his gig to get under cover before daylight. Fettes was thus left alone
with his regrets. He saw the miserable peril in which he stood involved.
He saw, with inexpressible dismay, that there was no limit to his
weakness, and that, from concession to concession, he had fallen from the
arbiter of Macfarlane’s destiny to his paid and helpless accomplice. He
would have given the world to have been a little braver at the time, but
it did not occur to him that he might still be brave. The secret of Jane
Galbraith and the cursed entry in the day-book closed his mouth.
Hours passed; the class began to arrive; the members of the unhappy Gray
were dealt out to one and to another, and received without remark.
Richardson was made happy with the head; and before the hour of freedom
rang Fettes trembled with exultation to perceive how far they had already
gone toward safety.
For two days he continued to watch, with increasing joy, the dreadful
process of disguise.
On the third day Macfarlane made his appearance. He had been ill, he
said; but he made up for lost time by the energy with which he directed
the students. To Richardson in particular he extended the most valuable
assistance and advice, and that student, encouraged by the praise of the
demonstrator, burned high with ambitious hopes, and saw the medal already
in his grasp.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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