WHILE thus the couple sought their plot to frame, A convent porter with a burden came, For her who kept the stores of ev'ry kind, Depositary of the whole designed. 'Twas merely a pretence, as I am told: The things were not required for young or old; But she much appetite had got in truth, Which made her have recourse to such a youth, Who was regarded, in repasts like these, A first rate cook that all prepared at ease. THIS awkward, heavy lout mistook the cell; By chance upon our ladies' room he fell, And knocked with weighty hands: they ope'd the door. And gave abuse, but soon their anger o'er, The nuns conceived a treasure they had found, And, laughing heartily, no longer frowned, But both exclaimed at once: let's take this fool; Of him we easily can make a tool; As well as t'other, don't you think he'll do? The eldest added:--let's our whim pursue; 'Tis well determined;--What were we to get, That here we waited, and are waiting yet? Fine words and phrases; nothing of the kind; This wight 's as good, for what we have a mind, As any bachelor or doctor wise At all events, for present, he'll suffice. SHE rightly judged; his height, form, simple air, And ev'ry act, so clearly void of care, Raised expectation; this was AEsop's man, He never thought: 'twas all without a plan; Both ate and drank, and, had he been at will, Would matters far have pushed, though void of skill. FAMILIAR grown, the fellow ready seemed, To execute whate'er was proper deemed; To serve the convent he was porter made, And in their wishes nuns of course obeyed. 'TIS here begins the subject we've in view, The scene that faithfully our painter drew; Apollo, give me aid, assistance lend, Enable me, I pray, to comprehend, Why this mean stupid rustick sat at ease, And left the sisters (Claudia, formed to please, And lovely fair Theresa) all the care? Had he not better done to give a chair? I THINK I hear the god of verse reply: Not quite so fast my friend, you may rely, These matters never can the probe endure; I understand you; Cupid, to be sure, Is doubtless found a very roguish boy, Who, though he please at times, will oft annoy; I'm wrong a wicked whelp like this to take, And, master of the ceremonies make.