“May be so,” said Simon; “though that is more than I ever knew you to have for any body.” “Pray be serious. I tell you I have, and will prove it.” “That is more and more surprising, Mr. Hopkins.” “And which is more surprising still, I will make your fortune, if you will do a trifling kindness for me.” “Any thing in nature, that won’t give me an unreasonable deal of trouble.” “Oh, this will give you no sort of trouble,” said Hopkins. “I will get you, before this day se’nnight, that place in the revenue that you have been wishing for so long, and that Sir Hyacinth O’Brien will never get for you. I say I will insure it to you under my hand, this minute, if you will do what I want of you.” “To be sure I will, if it’s no trouble. What is it?” “Only just,” said Hopkins, hesitating; “only just--You must remember--you cannot but recollect that you wrote to your landlord, to offer to renew?” “I remember to recollect no such thing,” said Simon, surprised. “Yes, yes,” said Hopkins; “but he gave you no answer, you know.” “But, I tell you, I never wrote to him at all.” “Pshaw! You have a bad memory, Simon; and your letter might have miscarried. There’s nothing simpler than that; nothing more easily said.” “If it were but true,” said Simon. “True or not, it may be said, you know.” “Not by Simon O’Dougherty, Mr. Hopkins.”, “Look you, Mr. O’Dougherty, I have a great regard for you,” continued Hopkins, holding him fast, and producing a pocket-book full of bank notes. I must, thought he, come up to this scoundrel’s price, for he has me now. He is more knave than fool, I see. “Let us understand one another, my good friend Simon. Name your sum, and make me but a short affidavit, purporting that you did apply for this renewal, and you have your place in the revenue snug besides.” “You don’t know whom you are speaking to, Mr. Hopkins,” said Simon, looking over his shoulder, with cool and easy contempt. “The O’Doughertys are not accustomed to perjuring themselves; and it’s a trouble I would not take for any man, if he were my own father even; no, not for all the places in the revenue that ever were created, nor for all the bank notes ever you cheated mankind out of, Mr. Hopkins, into the bargain. No offence. I never talked of cheating, till you named perjury to me; for which I do not kick you down stairs, in the first place, because there are no stairs, I believe, to my house; next, because, if there were ever so many, it would be beneath me to make use of them upon any such occasion; and, lastly, it would be quite too much trouble. Now we comprehend one another perfectly, I hope, Mr. Hopkins.” Cursing himself, and overwhelmed with confusion, Mr. Hopkins withdrew. Proud of himself, and having a story to tell, Simon O’Dougherty hastened to Rosanna, to relate all that had happened to the Grays, and to congratulate them, as he said, upon his own carelessness.