Tales and Novels — Volume 05: Tales of a Fashionable LifeEdgeworth, Maria
General
Tales and Novels — Volume 05: Tales of a Fashionable Life
Edgeworth, Maria
Fiction
many oblique reproaches, reflections upon ingratitude, dissimulation,
and treachery, which she knew were aimed at her. The consciousness that
she was treating Lady Bradstone with insincerity, in encouraging the
addresses of her son, increased Miss Turnbull’s embarrassment; she
repented having for a moment encouraged his clandestine attachment; and
she now urged him in the strongest manner to impart his intentions to
his mother. He assured her that she should be obeyed; but his obedience
was put off from day to day; and, in the mean time, the more Almeria saw
of his family, the more her desire to be connected with them diminished.
The affair of the necklace was continually renewed, in some shape or
other, and a perpetual succession of petty disputes occurred, in which
both parties were in the wrong, and each openly or secretly blamed her
for not taking their part. Her mind was so much harassed, that all
her natural cheerfulness forsook her; and the being obliged to assume
spirits in company, and among people who were not worth the toil of
pleasing, became every hour more irksome. The transition from these
domestic miseries to public dissipation and gaieties made her still more
melancholy.
When she calmly examined her own heart, she perceived that she felt
little or no affection for Lord Bradstone, though she had been flattered
by his attentions, when the assiduity of a man of rank and fashion was
new to her; but now the joys of being a countess began to fade in her
imagination. She hesitated--she had not strength of mind sufficient to
decide--she was afraid to proceed; yet she had not courage to retract.
Ellen’s parting words recurred to her mind--“May you never feel the want
of a sincere and affectionate friend! May the triumphs of fashion make
you amends for all you sacrifice to obtain them!”--“Alas!” thought
she, “Ellen foresaw that I should soon be disgusted with this joyless,
heartless intercourse; but how can I recede? how can I disengage
myself from this Lord Bradstone, now that I have encouraged his
addresses?--Fool that I have been!--Oh! if I could now be advised by
that best of friends, who used to assist me in all my difficulties!--But
she despises, she has renounced me--she has bid me farewell for ever!”
Notwithstanding this “farewell for ever,” there was still at the bottom
of Almeria’s heart, even whilst she bewailed herself in this manner, a
secret hope that Ellen’s esteem and friendship might be recovered, and
she resolved to make the trial. She was eager to put this idea into
execution the moment it occurred to her; and after apologizing to the
Lady Bradstones for not, as usual, accompanying them in their morning
ride, she set out to walk to Miss Elmour’s lodgings. It was a hot
day--she walked fast from the hurry and impatience of her mind. The
servant who attended her knocked twice at Mr. Elmour’s door before any
one answered; at last the door was opened by a maid-servant, with a
broom in her hand.
“Is Miss Elmour at home?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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