Almost every day she felt the apprehension or the certainty of having
offended her benefactress: and the causes by which she gave offence
were sometimes so trifling as to elude her notice; so mysterious,
that they could not be discovered; or so various and anomalous, that,
even when she was told in what manner she had displeased, she could
not form any rule, or draw any inference, for her future conduct.
Sometimes she offended by differing, sometimes by agreeing, in taste
or opinion with Mrs. Somers. Sometimes she perceived that she was
thought positive; at other times, too complying. A word, a look,
or even silence--passive silence--was sufficient to affront this
susceptible lady. Then she would go on with a string of deductions, or
rather of imaginations, to prove that there must be something wrong
in Emilie’s disposition; and she would insist upon it, that she knew
better what was passing, or what would pass, in her mind, than Emilie
could know herself. Nothing provoked Mrs. Somers more than the want
of success in any of her active attempts to make others happy. She
was continually angry with Emilie for not being sufficiently pleased
or grateful for things which she had not the vanity to suspect were
intended for her gratification, or which were not calculated to
contribute to her amusement: this humility, or this difference of
taste, was always considered as affectation or perversity. One day,
Mrs. Somers was angry with Emilie because she did not thank her for
inviting a celebrated singer to her concert; but Emilie had no idea
that the singer was invited on her account: of this nothing could
convince Mrs. Somers. Another day, she was excessively displeased
because Emilie was not so much entertained as she had expected her to
be at the installation of a knight of the garter.
“Mad. de Coulanges expressed a wish to see the ceremony of the
installation; and, though I hate such things myself, I took prodigious
pains to procure tickets, and to have you well placed--”
“Indeed, I was very sensible of it, dear madam.”
“May be so, my dear; but you did not look as if you were: you seemed
tired to death, and said you were sleepy; and ten times repeated,
‘Ah! qu’il fait chaud!’ But this is what I am used to--what I have
experienced all my life. The more pains a person takes to please and
oblige, the less they can succeed, and the less gratitude they are to
expect.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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