shows no great generosity, and she may, or she may not, be touched at
the altar by the divine flame. My good general, when you are a husband
you will feel these things as I do; till then, it is very easy to talk
as you do, and to admire other men’s wives, and to wish Heaven had
blessed you with such a treasure. For my part, the single idea, that
a woman thinks it her duty to be fond of me, would deprive me of all
pleasure in her love. No man can be more sensible than I am of the
amiable and estimable qualities of Lady Leonora L----; I should be a
brute and a liar if I hesitated to give the fullest testimony in her
praise; but such is the infirmity of my nature, that I could pardon some
faults more easily, than I could like some virtues. The virtues which
leave me in doubt of a woman’s love, I can esteem, but that is all. Lady
Leonora is calm, serene, perfectly sweet-tempered, without jealousy and
without suspicion; in one word, without love. If she loved me, she never
could have been the wife she has been for some months past. You will
laugh at my being angry with a wife for not being jealous. But so it is.
Certain defects of temper I could bear, if I considered them as symptoms
of strong affection. When I for a moment believed that Leonora suffered,
when I attributed her fainting at our fête champêtre to jealousy, I was
so much alarmed and touched, that I absolutely forgot her rival. I did
more; to prevent her feeling uneasiness, to destroy the suspicions which
I imagined had been awakened in her mind, I hesitated not to sacrifice
all the pleasure and all the vanity which a man of my age might
reasonably be supposed to feel in the prospect of a new and not
inglorious conquest; I left home immediately, and went to meet you, my
dear friend, on your return from abroad. This visit I do not set down
to your account, but to that of honour--foolish, unnecessary honour. You
half-persuaded me, that your hearsay Parisian evidence was more to be
trusted than my own judgment, and I returned home with the resolution
not to be the dupe of a coquette. Leonora’s reception of me was
delightful; I never saw her in such spirits, or so amiable. But I could
not help wishing to ascertain whether I had attributed her fainting to
the real cause. This proof I tempted to my cost. Instead of showing any
tender alarm at the renewal of my obvious attentions to her rival, she
was perfectly calm and collected, went on with her usual occupations,
fulfilled all her duties, never reproached me by word or look, never for
one moment betrayed impatience, ill-humour, suspicion, or jealousy; in
short, I found that I had been fool enough to attribute to excess of
affection, an accident which proceeded merely from the situation of her
health. If anxiety of mind had been the cause of her fainting at the
fête champêtre, she would since have felt and shown agitation on a
thousand occasions, where she has been perfectly tranquil. Her friend
Mrs.
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