But of the whole ceremony I must confess that I have but a very confused
recollection. Many things conspired to distract my attention. Whether
it was that my disappointment at not seeing Berenice indisposed me to be
pleased, or whether the chanting was not this day, or at this synagogue,
as fine as usual, it certainly did not answer my expectations. However
pleasing it might be to other ears, to mine it was discordant; and I was
afraid that Mr. Montenero should perceive this. I saw that he observed
me from time to time attentively, and I thought he wanted to discover
whether there was within me any remains of my old antipathies. Upon this
subject I knew he was peculiarly susceptible. Under this apprehension,
I did my utmost to suppress my feelings; and the constraint became
mentally and corporeally irksome. The ceremonials, which were quite new
to me, contributed at once to strain my attention, and to increase the
painful confusion of my mind. I felt relieved when the service was
over; but when I thought that it was finished, all stood still, as if
in expectation, and there was a dead silence. I saw two young children
appear from the crowd: way was made for them to the altar. They
walked slowly, hand in hand, and when they had ascended the steps,
and approached the altar, the priest threw over them a white scarf, or
vestment, and they kneeled, and raising their little hands, joined them
together, in the attitude of supplication. They prayed in silence. They
were orphans, praying for their father and mother, whom they had lately
lost. Mr. Montenero told me that it is the Jewish custom for orphans,
during a year after the death of their parents, to offer up at
the altar, on every public meeting of their synagogue, this solemn
commemoration of their loss. While the children were still kneeling, a
man walked silently round the synagogue, collecting contributions for
the orphans. I looked, and saw, as he came nearer to me, that this was
Jacob. Just as I had taken out my purse, I was struck by the sight of a
face and figure that had terrible power over my associations--a figure
exactly resembling one of the most horrible of the Jewish figures which
used to haunt me when I was a child. The face with _terrible eyes_
stood fixed opposite to me. I was so much surprised and startled by this
apparition, that a nervous tremor seized me in every limb. I let the
purse, which I had in my hand, fall upon the ground. Mr. Montenero took
it up again, and presented it to me, asking me, in a very kind voice,
“if I was ill.” I recollected myself--when I looked again, the figure
had disappeared in the crowd. I had no reason to believe that Mr.
Montenero saw the cause of my disorder. He seemed to attribute it to
sudden illness, and hastened to get out of the synagogue into the fresh
air. His manner, on this occasion, was so kind towards me, and the
anxiety he showed about my health so affectionate, that all my fears of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account