“Gently--command yourself, and listen to reason and truth,” said Mr.
Montenero, laying his hand on my arm. “Am I a man, do you think, to
listen to base slander? Or, if I had listened to any such, could I speak
to you with the esteem and confidence with which I have just spoken?
Could I look at you with the tenderness and affection which I feel for
you at this instant?”
“Oh! Mr. Montenero,” said I, “you know how to touch me to the heart; but
answer me one, only one question--has Lord Mowbray any thing to do with
this, whatever it is?”
“I have not seen or heard from him since I saw you last.”
“Your word is sufficient,” said I. “Then I suspected him unjustly.”
“Heaven forbid,” said Mr. Montenero, “that I should raise suspicion in
a mind which, till now, I have always seen and thought to be above that
meanness. The torture of suspense I must inflict, but inflict not
on yourself the still worse torture of suspicion--ask me no farther
questions--I can answer none--time alone can solve the difficulty.
I have now to request that you will never more speak to me on this
subject: as soon as my own mind is satisfied, depend upon it I shall let
you know it. In the mean time I rely upon your prudence and your honour,
that you will not declare your attachment to my daughter, that you will
take no means, direct or indirect, to draw her into any engagement, or
to win her affections: in short, I wish to see you here as a friend
of mine--not a suitor of hers. If you are capable of this necessary
self-control, continue your visits; but if this effort be beyond your
power, I charge you, as you regard her happiness and your own, see her
no more. Consider well, before you decide.”
I had confidence in my own strength of mind and honour; I knew that
want of resolution was not the defect of my character. Difficult as the
conditions were, I submitted to them--I promised that if Mr. Montenero
permitted me to continue my visits, I would strictly comply with all he
desired. The moment I had given this promise, I was in haste to quit the
room, lest Berenice should enter, before I had time to recover from the
excessive agitation into which I had been thrown.
Mr. Montenero followed me to the antechamber. “My daughter is not at
home--she is taking an airing in the park. One word more before we
part--one word more before we quit this painful subject,” said he: “do
not, my dear young friend, waste your time, your ingenuity, in vain
conjectures--you will not discover that which I cannot impart; nor would
the discovery, if made, diminish the difficulty, or in the least add to
your happiness, though it might to your misery. It depends not on your
will to remove the obstacle--by no talents, no efforts of yours can it
be obviated: one thing, and but one, is in your power--to command your
own mind.”
“Command my own mind! Oh! Mr. Montenero, how easy to say--how difficult
to command the passions--such a passion!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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