Approved beginnings of speeches as follows--for a raw bore: “Unused as I am to public speaking, Mr. Speaker, I feel myself on the present occasion called upon not to give a silent vote.” For old stagers: “In the whole course of my parliamentary career, never did I rise with such diffidence.” In reply, the bore begins with: “It would be presumption in me, Mr. Speaker, after the able, luminous, learned, and eloquent speech you have just heard, to attempt to throw any new light; but, &c. &c.” For a premeditated harangue of four hours or upwards he regularly commences with “At this late hour of the night, I shall trouble the house with only a few words, Mr. Speaker.” The Speaker of the English House of Commons is a man destined to be bored. Doomed to sit in a chair all night long--night after night--month after month--year after year--being bored. No relief for him but crossing and uncrossing his legs from time to time. No respite. If he sleep, it must be with his eyes open, fixed in the direction of the haranguing bore. He is not, however, bound, _bonâ fide_ to hear all that is said. This, happily, was settled in the last century. “Mr. Speaker, it is your duty to hear me,--it is the undoubted privilege, Sir, of every member of this house _to be heard_,” said a bore of the last century to the then Speaker of the House of Commons. “Sir,” replied the Speaker, “I know that it is the undoubted right of every member of this house to speak, but I was not aware that it was his privilege to be always heard.” The courtier-bore has sometimes crept into the English parliament.--But is common on the continent: infinite varieties, as _le courtisan propre, courtisan homme d’état_, and _le courtisan philosophe_--a curious but not a rare kind in France, of which M. de Voltaire was one of the finest specimens. Attempts had been made to naturalize some of the varieties of the philanthropic and sentimental French and German bores in England, but without success. Some ladies had them for favourites or pets; but they were found mischievous and dangerous. Their morality was easy,--but difficult to understand; compounded of three-fourths sentiment--nine-tenths selfishness, twelve-ninths instinct, self-devotion, metaphysics, and cant. ‘Twas hard to come at a common denominator. John Bull, with his four rules of vulgar arithmetic, could never make it out; altogether he never could abide these foreign bores. Thought ‘em confounded dull too--Civilly told them so, and half asleep bid them “prythee begone”--They not taking the hint, but lingering with the women, at last John wakening out-right, fell to in earnest, and routed them out of the island.