Tales and Stories: Now First CollectedShelley, Mary Wollstonecraft
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Tales and Stories: Now First Collected
Shelley, Mary Wollstonecraft
English fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, English
“Years rolled on; and I had no intelligence of her until I learned by a
mere chance that she had with her husband quitted her native land.
Altogether, more than twenty, to me long, long years, have now passed
since her flight; and though, when time brought repentance, and my anger
and revenge yielded to better feelings, I made every effort to gain
tidings of my poor child, I have not yet been able to discover any
further traces of her. Here therefore have I lived a widowed, childless,
heart-broken old man. But I have at least learned to bow to the
dispensations of an all-wise Providence, which has in its justice
stricken me, for thus remorselessly cherishing that baneful passion
which Holy Law so expressly forbids. Oh! how I have yearned to see my
beloved child! how I have longed to clasp her to this withered, blighted
heart! With scalding tears of the bitterest repentance have I revoked
those deadly curses, which, in the plenitude of my unnatural wrath, I
dared to utter daily. Ceaselessly do I now weary Heaven with my prayers
to obliterate all memory of those fatal imprecations; or to let them
fall on my own head, and shower down only its choicest blessings on that
of my beloved child! But a fear, which freezes my veins with horror,
constantly haunts me lest the maledictions which I dared to utter in my
moments of demoniac vindictiveness, should, in punishment for my
impiety, have been fulfilled.
“Often, in my dreams, do I behold my beloved child; but her looks are
always in sadness, and she ever seems mildly but most sorrowfully to
upbraid me for having so inhumanly cast her from me. Yet she must, I
fear, have died long ere now; for, were she living, she would not, I
think, have ceased to endeavour to regain the affections of a father who
once loved her so tenderly. It is true that at first she made many
efforts to obtain my forgiveness. Nay, I have subsequently learned that
she even knelt at the threshold of my door, and piteously supplicated to
be allowed to see me. But my commands had been so peremptory, and the
steward who had replaced Wilfred, after his death, was of so stern and
unbending a disposition, that, just and righteous as was this her last
request, it was unfeelingly denied to her. Eternal Heaven! she whom I
had loved as perhaps never father loved before—she whom I had fondly
watched almost hourly lest the rude breeze of winter should chill her,
or the summer’s heat should scorch her—she whom I had cherished in
sickness through many a livelong night, with a mother’s devotion, and
more than a mother’s solicitude, even _she_, the only child of my
beloved Agnes, and the anxious object of the last moments of her life,
was spurned from my door! from this door whence no want goes unrelieved,
and where the very beggar finds rest! And now, when I would bless the
lips that even could say to me ‘she lives,’ I can nowhere gather the
slightest tidings of my child. Ah, had I listened to the voice of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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