"It is not death I fear," he exclaimed, "but the death I must prepare
for! Methinks, too, I could meet even that--all horrible and revolting
as it is--if it might overtake me now. But where shall I find
fortitude to tarry till it come? How can I outlive the three long days
and nights I have to live? There is no power within me to bid the
hideous spectre hence--none to make it familiar to my thoughts; or
myself, patient of its errand. My thoughts, rather, will flee from me,
and I grow mad in looking at it. Oh! for a deep sleep to fall upon
me! That so, in death's likeness, I might embrace death itself, and
drink no more of the cup that is presented to me, than my fainting
spirit has already tasted!"
In the midst of these lamentations, Vivenzio noticed that his
accustomed meal, with the pitcher of water, had been conveyed, as
before, into his dungeon. But this circumstance no longer excited his
surprise. His mind was overwhelmed with others of a far greater
magnitude. It suggested, however, a feeble hope of deliverance; and
there is no hope so feeble as not to yield some support to a heart
bending under despair. He resolved to watch, during the ensuing night,
for the signs he had before observed; and should he again feel the
gentle, tremulous motion of the floor, or the current of air, to seize
that moment for giving audible expression to his misery. Some person
must be near him, and within reach of his voice, at the instant when
his food was supplied; some one, perhaps, susceptible of pity. Or if
not, to be told even that his apprehensions were just, and that his
fate _was_ to be what he foreboded, would be preferable to a suspense
which hung upon the possibility of his worst fears being visionary.
The night came; and as the hour approached when Vivenzio imagined he
might expect the signs, he stood fixed and silent as a statue. He
feared to breathe, almost, lest he might lose any sound which would
warn him of their coming. While thus listening, with every faculty of
mind and body strained to an agony of attention, it occurred to him he
should be more sensible of the motion, probably, if he stretched
himself along the iron floor. He accordingly laid himself softly down,
and had not been long in that position when--yes--he was certain of
it--the floor moved under him! He sprang up, and in a voice suffocated
nearly with emotion, called aloud. He paused--the motion ceased--he
felt no stream of air--all was hushed--no voice answered to his--he
burst into tears, and as he sank to the ground, in renewed anguish,
exclaimed--"Oh, my God! my God! You alone have power to save me now,
or strengthen me for the trial you permit."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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