"I should take you," replied he, "to be about six feet two inches high,
and to weigh some sixteen stones."
This admeasurement raised my merriment to its acme, and I laughed aloud.
"Know, then, my good little man, that all your geometry has availed you
nothing, for I only stand five feet eight, and never weighed more than
twelve stones." He shrugged up his shoulders once more, and put on
another of his incredulous looks.
"Eh, eh--I may be mistaken--but I--I--"
"Mistaken!" exclaimed I; "zounds, you were never more egregiously
mistaken, even when you advocated the Pythagorean doctrine of
Metempsychosis!"
"I may be wrong, but I could lay five gilders that I am right. I never
bet high--just a trifle, just a trifle occasionally."
"You had better keep your gilders in your pocket," said I, "and not risk
them so foolishly."
"With your permission, however, I shall back my pieces against
yours,"--and he drew five from a little green silk purse, and put them
on the table. I deposited an equal number.
"Now," said I, "how is this dispute to be settled? where can I get
myself weighed?"
"I believe," answered he, "there is a pair of scales in the room hard
by, and weights too, if I mistake not." He accordingly got up and opened
the door of the adjoining chamber, where, to my surprise, I beheld a
pair of immense scales hanging from the roof, and hundred and
half-hundred weights, &c. lying around. I seated myself in one of the
scales, chuckling very heartily at the scrape into which the little
fellow had brought himself. He lifted up weight after weight, placing
them upon the opposite scale. Eleven stones had been put in, and he was
lifting the twelfth;--"Now," says I, eyeing him waggishly, "for your
five gilders." He dropped the weight, but the beam never moved, and I
still sat on the lowest scale. Thirteen were put on, but my weight yet
triumphed. With amazement I saw fourteen and fifteen successively added
to the number, without effect. At last, on putting down the sixteenth,
the scale on which I sat was gently raised from the ground. I turned my
eyes upwards towards the needle, which I saw quivering as if uncertain
where to stop; at last it paused exactly in the centre, and stood erect:
the beam lay perfectly horizontal, and I sat motionless, poised in
middle air.
"You will observe, sir, that my calculation was correct," observed my
companion, taking a fresh pinch of snuff. "You are just sixteen stones.
Nothing now remains but to measure your height."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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