It would be a vain attempt for me to describe the horror I endured at
this dreadful transmogrification. After the first burst of dismay was
over, I wept bitterly, bewailing the loss of my dear body, which I now
felt convinced was gone from me for ever. "And poor Wolstang," cried I
lamentably, "you are no longer yourself. You are me and I am you, and
doubtless you are deploring your misfortune as bitterly as your unhappy
friend Stadt."
Night was now coming on, and it became necessary that I should resolve
upon what ought to be done in my present state. I soon perceived that it
would serve no purpose to say that I was myself; no one would have
believed me, and I would run the risk of being put in a strait-jacket as
a lunatic. To avoid these evils, there was no resource but to pass
myself off upon the community as Wolstang. Even here there was
considerable risk of being regarded mad; for how could I at once adapt
myself to his circumstances, get a knowledge of them, think as he
thought, and act as he acted? It was plain, that although I was Wolstang
in body, I was only Stadt in mind; and I knew that in disposition I was
as different as possible from Wolstang. "There is no help," said I,
weeping grievously; "it must be done."
In order to cool my heated brain, I went out into the open air, and
wandered about the streets. I was addressed by a number of persons whom
I did not know; and several of my acquaintances, to whom I inadvertently
spoke, did not know me. With the former I was very short, answering
their questions at random, and getting off as soon as possible. To the
latter I could only apologise, assuring them that they had been mistaken
by me for other persons. I felt my situation most unpleasant; for,
besides the consciousness of no longer being myself, I was constantly
running into the most perplexing blunders. For instance, after strolling
about for a considerable period, I came, as it were, by a sort of
instinct, to my own lodgings. For a time I forgot my situation, and
knocked at the door. It was opened by my domestic, from whom I took the
candle which he held in his hand, and, according to wont, walked into
the study. "Mr Stadt is not in, sir," said the man, following me;
"perhaps you will sit till he comes: I expect him soon." This aroused me
from my reverie, confirming too truly the fact that I was changed. I
started up from the seat into which I had dropped, rushed past him with
dismay, and gained the street. Here I made up my mind to return to
Wolstang's lodgings, which I accordingly did, in a mood which a
condemned criminal would hardly envy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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