New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories; Theater -- Fiction
The facts about the man we called “Whiskers” linger in my mind, asking
to be recorded, and though they do not make much of a story, I am
tempted to unburden myself by putting them on paper. It was mentally
noted as a sure thing by everybody who saw him go into the managing
editor's room, to ask for a position on the staff of the paper, that if
he should obtain a place and become a fixture in the office, he would
be generally known as Whiskers within twenty-four hours after his
instalment.
What tale he told the managing editor no one knew, but every one in the
editorial rooms deduced later that it must have been something a trifle
out of the common, for the managing editor, who had gone through the
form of taking the names of three previous applicants that afternoon and
telling them that he would let them know when a vacancy should occur on
the staff, told the man whom we eventually christened Whiskers that he
might come around the next day and write whatever he might choose to in
the way of Sunday “specials,” comic verses, or editorial paragraphs, on
the chance of their being accepted.
The next day the hairy-faced man took possession of a desk in the room
occupied by the exchange editor and one of the editorial writers, and
began to grind out “copy.”
He was a slim, figure, with what is commonly denominated a “slight
stoop.” His trousers were none too long for his thin legs, his tightly
fitting frock coat, threadbare, shiny, and unduly creased, was hardly of
a fit for his slender body and his long arms. It was his face, however,
that mostly individualized his appearance.
The face was pale, the outlines symmetrical, but rather feeble, and the
countenance would have seemed rather lamblike but for the fact that it
was framed with thick, long hair and a luxuriant beard, which caressed
his waistcoat.
These made him impressive at first sight.
On the first day of his presence, he said little to the men with whom he
shared his room in the office. On the second day he grew communicative
and talked rather pompously to the exchange editor. He prated of his
past achievements as a newspaper man in other cities. He had a cheerful
way of talking in a voice that was high but not loud. His undaunted
manner of uttering self-praise caused the exchange editor to wink at the
editorial writer. It engendered, too, a small degree of dislike on the
part of these worthies; and the exchange editor made it a point to watch
for some of the new man's work in the paper, that he might be certain
whether the new man's ability was equal to the new man's opinion of it.
The exchange editor found that it was not. The new man had been in the
office four days before any of his contributions had gone through the
process of creation, acceptance, and publication. Some verses and some
alleged jokes were his first matter printed. They were below mediocrity.
The exchange editor ceased to dislike the whiskered man and thereafter
regarded him as quite harmless and mildly amusing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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