I sat down again on the grass, and plucked, one by one, the weeds
from her grave; the tears trickled more slowly down my cheeks,
and ceased to be bitter. It was a comfort to think that she had
died before sorrow and poverty came upon her child, and that all
his great expectations were blasted.
I leaned my cheek upon my hand and looked upon the landscape. Its
quiet beauty soothed me. The whistle of a peasant from an
adjoining field came cheerily to my ear. I seemed to respire hope
and comfort with the free air that whispered through the leaves
and played lightly with my hair, and dried the tears upon my
cheek. A lark, rising from the field before me, and leaving, as
it were, a stream of song behind him as he rose, lifted my fancy
with him. He hovered in the air just above the place where the
towers of Warwick Castle marked the horizon; and seemed as if
fluttering with delight at his own melody. “Surely,” thought I,
“if there were such a thing as transmigration of souls, this
might be taken for some poet, let loose from earth, but still
revelling in song, and carolling about fair fields and lordly
towns.”
At this moment the long forgotten feeling of poetry rose within
me. A Thought sprung at once into my mind: “I will become an
author,” said I. “I have hitherto indulged in poetry as a
pleasure, and it has brought me nothing but pain. Let me try what
it will do, when I cultivate it with devotion as a pursuit.”
The resolution, thus suddenly aroused within me, heaved a load
from off my heart. I felt a confidence in it from the very place
where it was formed. It seemed as though my mother’s spirit
whispered it to me from her grave. “I will henceforth,” said I,
“endeavor to be all that she fondly imagined me. I will endeavor
to act as if she were witness of my actions. I will endeavor to
acquit myself in such manner, that when I revisit her grave there
may, at least, be no compunctious bitterness in my tears.”
I bowed down and kissed the turf in solemn attestation of my vow.
I plucked some primroses that were growing there and laid them
next my heart. I left the church-yard with my spirits once more
lifted up, and set out a third time for London, in the character
of an author.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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