I existed in this kind of dream, I might almost say delirium, for
upwards of a year. Such is the tenacity of my imagination that
the image which was formed in it continued in all its power and
freshness. Indeed, I was a solitary, meditative being, much given
to reverie, and apt to foster ideas which had once taken strong
possession of me. I was roused from this fond, melancholy,
delicious dream by the death of my worthy benefactor. I cannot
describe the pangs his death occasioned me. It left me alone and
almost broken-hearted. He bequeathed to me his little property;
which, from the liberality of his disposition and his expensive
style of living, was indeed but small; and he most particularly
recommended me, in dying, to the protection of a nobleman who had
been his patron.
The latter was a man who passed for munificent. He was a lover
and an encourager of the arts, and evidently wished to be thought
so. He fancied he saw in me indications of future excellence; my
pencil had already attracted attention; he took me at once under
his protection; seeing that I was overwhelmed with grief, and
incapable of exerting myself in the mansion of my late
benefactor, he invited me to sojourn for a time in a villa which
he possessed on the border of the sea, in the picturesque
neighborhood of Sestri de Ponenti.
I found at the villa the Count’s only son, Filippo: he was nearly
of my age, prepossessing in his appearance, and fascinating in
his manners; he attached himself to me, and seemed to court my
good opinion. I thought there was something of profession in his
kindness, and of caprice in his disposition; but I had nothing
else near me to attach myself to, and my heart felt the need of
something to repose itself upon. His education had been
neglected; he looked upon me as his superior in mental powers and
acquirements, and tacitly acknowledged my superiority. I felt
that I was his equal in birth, and that gave an independence to
my manner which had its effect. The caprice and tyranny I saw
sometimes exercised on others, over whom he had power, were never
manifested towards me. We became intimate friends, and frequent
companions. Still I loved to be alone, and to indulge in the
reveries of my own imagination, among the beautiful scenery by
which I was surrounded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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