“I had just reached the end of an agitated year, with considerable
arrears to make up in money and emotion; and theoretically it seemed as
though my aunt’s mild hospitality would be as beneficial to my nerves as
to my purse. But the deuce of it was that as soon as I felt myself safe
and sheltered my energy began to revive; and how was I to work it off
inside of a memorial emblem? I had, at that time, the agreeable illusion
that sustained intellectual effort could engage a man’s whole activity;
and I decided to write a great book--I forget about what. My aunt,
impressed by my plan, gave up to me her Gothic library, filled with
classics in black cloth and daguerrotypes of faded celebrities; and I
sat down at my desk to make myself a place among their number. And to
facilitate my task she lent me a cousin to copy my manuscript.
“The cousin was a nice girl, and I had an idea that a nice girl was just
what I needed to restore my faith in human nature, and principally
in myself. She was neither beautiful nor intelligent--poor Alice
Nowell!--but it interested me to see any woman content to be so
uninteresting, and I wanted to find out the secret of her content. In
doing this I handled it rather rashly, and put it out of joint--oh, just
for a moment! There’s no fatuity in telling you this, for the poor girl
had never seen any one but cousins ...
“Well, I was sorry for what I’d done, of course, and confoundedly
bothered as to how I should put it straight. She was staying in the
house, and one evening, after my aunt had gone to bed, she came down to
the library to fetch a book she’d mislaid, like any artless heroine on
the shelves behind us. She was pink-nosed and flustered, and it suddenly
occurred to me that her hair, though it was fairly thick and pretty,
would look exactly like my aunt’s when she grew older. I was glad I had
noticed this, for it made it easier for me to do what was right; and
when I had found the book she hadn’t lost I told her I was leaving for
Europe that week.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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