“As soon as the room was dark again the eyes reappeared; and I now
applied myself to explaining them on scientific principles. At first
I thought the illusion might have been caused by the glow of the last
embers in the chimney; but the fire-place was on the other side of my
bed, and so placed that the fire could not possibly be reflected in my
toilet glass, which was the only mirror in the room. Then it occurred
to me that I might have been tricked by the reflection of the embers in
some polished bit of wood or metal; and though I couldn’t discover any
object of the sort in my line of vision, I got up again, groped my way
to the hearth, and covered what was left of the fire. But as soon as I
was back in bed the eyes were back at its foot.
“They were an hallucination, then: that was plain. But the fact
that they were not due to any external dupery didn’t make them a
bit pleasanter to see. For if they were a projection of my inner
consciousness, what the deuce was the matter with that organ? I had gone
deeply enough into the mystery of morbid pathological states to picture
the conditions under which an exploring mind might lay itself open to
such a midnight admonition; but I couldn’t fit it to my present case.
I had never felt more normal, mentally and physically; and the only
unusual fact in my situation--that of having assured the happiness of an
amiable girl--did not seem of a kind to summon unclean spirits about my
pillow. But there were the eyes still looking at me ...
“I shut mine, and tried to evoke a vision of Alice Nowell’s. They were
not remarkable eyes, but they were as wholesome as fresh water, and if
she had had more imagination--or longer lashes--their expression might
have been interesting. As it was, they did not prove very efficacious,
and in a few moments I perceived that they had mysteriously changed into
the eyes at the foot of the bed. It exasperated me more to feel these
glaring at me through my shut lids than to see them, and I opened my
eyes again and looked straight into their hateful stare ...
“And so it went on all night. I can’t tell you what that night was, nor
how long it lasted. Have you ever lain in bed, hopelessly wide awake,
and tried to keep your eyes shut, knowing that if you opened ‘em you’d
see something you dreaded and loathed? It sounds easy, but it’s devilish
hard. Those eyes hung there and drew me. I had the _vertige de l’abime_,
and their red lids were the edge of my abyss. ... I had known nervous
hours before: hours when I’d felt the wind of danger in my neck; but
never this kind of strain. It wasn’t that the eyes were so awful; they
hadn’t the majesty of the powers of darkness. But they had--how shall
I say?--a physical effect that was the equivalent of a bad smell: their
look left a smear like a snail’s. And I didn’t see what business they
had with me, anyhow--and I stared and stared, trying to find out ...
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