Mr. Spence, drawing a little closer, leaned forward and touched him on
the arm. The touch caused Millner to turn his head, and for an instant
the glance of the two men crossed at short range. Millner was conscious,
first, of a nearer view than he had ever had of his employer’s face,
and of its vaguely suggesting a seamed sandstone head, the kind of thing
that lies in a corner in the court of a museum, and in which only the
round enamelled eyes have resisted the wear of time. His next feeling
was that he had now reached the moment to which the offer of the cigar
had been a prelude. He had always known that, sooner or later, such a
moment would come; all his life, in a sense, had been a preparation for
it. But in entering Mr. Spence’s service he had not foreseen that it
would present itself in this form. He had seen himself consciously
guiding that gentleman up to the moment, rather than being thrust into
it by a stronger hand. And his first act of reflection was the resolve
that, in the end, his hand should prove the stronger of the two. This
was followed, almost immediately, by the idea that to be stronger than
Mr. Spence’s it would have to be very strong indeed. It was odd that he
should feel this, since--as far as verbal communication went--it was Mr.
Spence who was asking for his support. In a theoretical statement of the
case the banker would have figured as being at Millner’s mercy; but one
of the queerest things about experience was the way it made light
of theory. Millner felt now as though he were being crushed by some
inexorable engine of which he had been playing with the lever. ...
He had always been intensely interested in observing his own reactions,
and had regarded this faculty of self-detachment as of immense advantage
in such a career as he had planned. He felt this still, even in the act
of noting his own bewilderment--felt it the more in contrast to the odd
unconsciousness of Mr. Spence’s attitude, of the incredible candour of
his self-abasement and self-abandonment. It was clear that Mr. Spence
was not troubled by the repercussion of his actions in the consciousness
of others; and this looked like a weakness--unless it were, instead, a
great strength. ...
Through the hum of these swarming thoughts Mr. Spence’s voice was going
on. “That’s the only rag of proof they’ve got; and they got it by one
of those nasty accidents that nobody can guard against. I don’t care
how conscientiously a man attends to business, he can’t always protect
himself against meddlesome people. I don’t pretend to know how the
letter came into their hands; but they’ve got it; and they mean to use
it--and they mean to say that you wrote it for me, and that you knew
what it was about when you wrote it. ... They’ll probably be after you
tomorrow--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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