Tales of My Time, Vol. 1 (of 3): Who Is She?Scargill, William Pitt
General
Tales of My Time, Vol. 1 (of 3): Who Is She?
Scargill, William Pitt
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
This was Mrs. Hartland's policy; Zorilda had other motives for her
silence, and a tremulous delicacy of feeling prevented her from
reposing in the bosom of her dearest friend those hopes and fears which
disturbed the serenity of her own; but Mrs. Gordon knew human nature,
and her sister's individual character. The first taught her to believe
it very possible that her nephew might not be proof against such
attractions as those of her young friend, while the latter assured her
that nothing could be less consonant with the wishes of his mother than
that Zorilda should exercise any influence over his affections. These
abstract surmises were brought to clearer testimony by a conversation
after dinner one day, which turned on genealogy.
"There is nothing like a good family," said Mrs. Hartland; "even money
is not of so much consequence; and for my part I would rather see my
only child dead at my feet than that he should bring disgrace upon
himself and all belonging to him by marrying any one of low birth."
Though Zorilda had resolved to command her actions, she had no power to
control her looks; and the sudden transition from a crimson blush to
deadly pale, expressed more than she wished to communicate, and
revealed sentiments which no force of language could contradict.
"My love," said Mrs. Gordon, as she rose hastily from her chair, and
went towards Zorilda, "I told you that you had walked too far. I saw
that you were greatly fatigued. You are quite overcome now by the heat
of this room, and must come with me directly into the fresh air." Zoé
pressed the hand which was extended towards her, and accompanied her
kind conductress.
When relieved from the restraint of observation on the part of those
who knew all her little history, she burst into tears; and when the
soothing caresses of Mrs. Gordon had tranquillized her spirits
sufficiently to permit of utterance, her first anxiety was to explain
her emotion without touching on its principal spring.
"Oh!" exclaimed Zorilda, "what a misfortune, is it not? to be thus a
prey to the most agonizing sensations upon a subject altogether beyond
the scope of my power to elucidate or control! I am ashamed of my
weakness, of my rebellion against that Almighty Being who decrees my
trials, who my bible teaches me to believe, 'loveth whom He chasteneth,
and scourgeth the son whom he would save.' Is it a crime to be thus
forlorn; the sport of every wind, or like the wreck of some
sea-foundered skiff, a severed fragment floating on the ocean of life,
unknown, unclaimed, unacknowledged? Alas! I have tried to school my
warring soul, and bend it to its burthen. I have prayed to Him who can
alone strengthen our frail nature, but I have prayed in vain; I am not
heeded. I am an outcast in Heaven as on earth."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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