'Ho-way!' shouted Geordie; 'there's Tom Turnbull ower by there tryin' ti lift weights an' show 's strength. Wey, but Tom cannet lift weights, he's nowt but a wee bit beggor. Tom, thoo beggor!' he challenged across the intervening throng of heads, 'thoo cannet lift weights; wey, Aa'l lift weights wi' thoo for a bottle o' whisky!' 'Ho-way, then, thoo aad fightin'-cock! but Aa give thoo fair warnin' Aa can beat thoo, for Aa's champion.' At this, the 'fancy' wife seized her 'man' firmly by the sleeve, fearing doubtless lest, in his then 'muzzy' condition, Geordie would waste the scanty remainder of his brass upon a vain endeavour, and, by way of effectually dissuading him, indiscreetly praised his rival's prowess. 'No, no, Geordie, my man, come this way, an' give us my fairin'; wey, there's a mort o' things ti see yet; there's the shuttin'-gall'ry, an' the twa-headed cat, an' the giant, an' the fat woman, an' aal--ho-way. Ay, an' Geordie, hinny, Tom Turnbull's tarr'ble clivvor at liftin' they handles things an' drivin' the bolt up the stick wi' the hammer, an' Aa's warn'd but he'll bang thoo at that game.' 'Tom Turnbull!--that haalf-grown, bandy-legged beggor ov a bit tailor ov a man bang me? Gox! but Aa'll larn him a lesson. Aa'll cut his comb, Aa's warn'd!' and Geordie forthwith, murmuring maledictions, thrust blindly through the crowd till he reached the spot where his rival stood, the centre of an admiring circle of friends. 'Noo,' cried Geordie, turning up his wrist-cuffs, 'Aa'll show thoo hoo the thing's done when it's done proper. Wey, this bolt 'll hit the beam at the top when Aa gie the stump a bat!' and without more ado--amidst the jeers of some, and the encouragement of a few false friends--he seized the hammer, swung it round his head, and brought it down some feet wide of the mark--smash upon the cobble-stones of the market-place. 'That's done the business!' cried Geordie triumphantly, conscious from the stinging of his hands that he had 'gi'en it a champion bat,' and certain that he had driven up the bolt some feet above his rival's mark. Through the roar of laughter, which Geordie complacently accepted as the proper accompaniment of Tom's defeat, a voice pierced suddenly with a shrill note as of a fife. 'Thoo great clumsy lubbert, see what thoo's done! Thoo's broke the hammer's head off! That's half a crown, my man, for the hammer, an' a penny for the shot; an' if thoo disn't hand it ower, I'll call the pollis, for it's fair takin' the livin' oot ov a poor weeda woman's mouth to break her hammer thet fashion!' and a thin-faced female, with a red-lined nose, sharp cheekbones, and watery eyes, held up two skinny fists in anger against him. 'Gan on, woman, gan on!' retorted Geordie indignantly; 'wey, it's thoo sh'd pay us, or gie us a cigyar, or a cokienut; for that bat o' mine hit the bull's-eye, Aa's warned.'